What is a penis but a barometer of a man’s health.  If a man is healthy of mind, body, & spirit, chances are his penis will be able to consistently transform into it’s firm, sexual purpose when coaxed by nature’s temptations.  If, on the other hand, a man does not respect the delicate balance of healthy living, his love oboe will most likely rebel by remaining a flaccid pendulum in the wind, willfully ignoring it’s God-given duties of pleasure, production, and seduction.

It’s hard.  If it was just about exercising consistently and eating right, good health would be an easy thing to figure out and maintain.  But it is not.  Good health is the sum total of the physical, the mental, the spiritual, and the karmic all massaged into one.  Treat your body like a temple and treat others with love and respect and you will be rewarded with the ability to consistently firm your worm.  Deviate from that path even an inch and you will be cursed with a soft, pissing device that knows of only one direction – down.  Let me explain…

healthy geoducks need no manual assistance...

The penis knows.  Just follow your wee-wee to a healthier life, a happier life.  A johnson that eagerly punctuates to the heavens is a sign that all heath systems are good to go.  It’s the Creator’s way of incentivizing man to stay in balance and to avoid excessive behavior.  I, for one, have greatly benefited from listening to my willy.  It is a conversation that at times, is very difficult to hold firm to.  But, like a lighthouse in the night, my meat barometer has kept me on course to a happier and healthier future.

let the penis guide you young padawan

Whenever my hardware doesn’t seem to be functioning properly, I take pause and I think.  How’s my diet?  Am I exercising regularly enough?  Why do I enjoy eating hair?  Am I carrying anger or resentment about someone or something?  Perhaps I shouldn’t smoke 2 packs a day.  Am I being a good person?  Why am I going to strip clubs for lunch 3 times a week?  Am I being a dick to others?  Is hard drinking 5 nights a week really a good idea?  Do I have low self-esteem?  Am I using my power and status to dominate others for self gain?  Why do I enjoy french kissing poodles?  Etc, etc, etc…  All these questions are blocks to the human system.  Some are physical, some emotional, and some spiritual.  Regardless of form, these blocks, if not addressed honestly and directly, can prevent one’s flesh missile from it’s most aerodynamic posture.  But fret not, it’s not rocket science.  Just pay close attention to your stalk performance and make small adjustments accordingly.  Nature’s ultimate checks and balance system will let you know how you’re doing.  Eat less salt, walk more instead of taking the elevator, say sorry first, use your status to help others, etc.  A few small adjustments here and there and you could very easily see a purple narwhal emerging from your underwear waving it’s horn in delight on a regular basis.  Nothing could be simpler or more pure.  So good luck my fellow man.  Honor your love rooster and learn from it’s teachings and you will live till you’re 121 years old and possess the sexual stamina of Dionysus to the day that you die.  Rock on.

(btw – we here at YOMYOMF love contemplating at life through the penile looking glass – As seen here and here from Offender Phil, here from Offender Beverly, and one more from me)

with good health comes great joy between your legs