A lot of people are still feeling the economic pinch. The unemployment figures are way up and it remains tough all around. The last thing anyone needs is the pressure of another holiday created by greedy corporate capitalists designed to guilt you into spending money you don’t have to buy things you don’t necessarily need. But alas, this Sunday is Valentine’s Day so you’re shit out of luck. And unlike in Asia where women buy men presents for Valentine’s, in the U.S. the pressure is on the guys to come through with gifts and goodies for their women. Yeah, it’s ass backwards here, tell me about it.
So for all of you guys going through financial difficulties who are now also stressing out because your significant other is expecting something “special” (i.e. expensive) for Valentine’s, I’m here to help. You can surf the net and find plenty of tips on how to do Valentine’s on a budget (see here and here for examples), but come on—taking your woman shopping at a 99 cent store or for a free romantic walk on the beach only reinforces the fact that you’re cheap and/or broke. That won’t fly. Especially if you’re with an Asian chick. And if she’s Korean, forget about it! In that case, Valentine’s Day may just as well be called “My boyfriend is required to buy me a new Prada purse and diamond necklace or I won’t have sex with him for six months” Day. Read more...
With the 82nd Academy Awards quickly approaching, I thought I would write a series of blogs on my favorite movies that were never nominated for an Oscar in any category.
I have to say that most of the time, the Oscars do recognize good movies in some form or fashion, even if it’s just for great sound. That’s not to say that I always agree with the outcomes or that they haven’t left out a movie that deserved to be in a certain category, but for the most part, the best made movies can boast at least 1 Oscar nomination. Still, I am amazed at how some really deserving films slipped completely from the minds of the members of the Academy.
After perusing my list of outcast movies, I decided that they generally fall into 1 of 3 categories: 1. The film is a genre film (Horror, Action, Thriller, etc.) 2. The film is foreign or 3. The film is just too indie (and therefore probably didn’t have the right Oscar campaign budget.)
So my first pick in the series is a very familiar one and perhaps one of the most iconic films ever made in the genre of Horror: Read more...
As much as I hate contributing to blatant promotions of multi-billion dollar corporations (I guess then I’m cool with subtle ones), I can’t help it when it comes to Super Bowl ads. I’ve been fascinated ever since I saw Apple’s one time only ‘Lemmings’ commercial as a kid.
And since I’m always up for anything Betty White, we’ll begin with her latest masterpiece:
Judging by the feedbacks, this year’s standout commercials were pretty much unanimous. Joining the Snickers spot are ones for Letterman… Read more...
Sweet and slightly neurotic “ethnic” guy meets and falls in love with blonde WASP beauty. He accompanies her to meet her equally WASP parents where he finds himself under the suspicious eye of her protective and scary father. Things get worse when ethnic guy initiates a series of missteps, which makes an already tense situation worse. This is the plot of the hit 2000 comedy Meet The Parents starring Ben Stiller as Greg “Gaylord” Focker a.k.a. neurotic ethnic guy (Jewish in this case) and Robert DeNiro as scary dad Jack Byrnes, but it could also describe the various times my white girlfriends took me to meet their folks for the first time. So why not Meet The Parents starring an Asian American dude in the Stiller role? It might look something like this:
Yup, if someone like my fellow Offender Roger Fan had stepped into the part, the story would have still worked with minimal changes to the script. In fact, the basic premise of the “outsider” boyfriend meeting his fiancee’s “all-American” family would be even more strengthened if said boyfriend was really “different” i.e. Asian. But couldn’t that character be any person of color–not necessarily Asian? I don’t think so. It wouldn’t have the same impact if the boyfriend were black or Latino even though they could also represent the “outsider.” Why? Read more...
Phillip commented on Anson’s blog about how a movie should have ended. He said, “Molly Ringwald should have ended up with Duckie at the end of PRETTY IN PINK as originally written and filmed.” WTF?!?!?! WTF?!?!?!?! And again, WTF?!?!?!?!
IT SHOULD’VE BEEN DUCKIE??!?!?!?!
You mean, Pretty in Pink, my all-time favorite John Hughes film while growing up; a film which defined my ideas of love-at-first-sight, my ideas of what a relationship is, my ideas of self-crafted fashion, my ideas of friendship…. had a totally DIFFERENT ENDING? Where Duckie (played by Jon Cryer), the-best-guy-friend-she-grew-up-with-and-who-was-madly-in-love-with-her, actually GOT THE GIRL???? MIND-FUCKIN-BLOWING. Read more...
As you read this, chances are — whether sports fan or not — that later on today, if not already, you will be among the estimated 100 million + people viewing and partaking in that most American of rituals: Super Bowl Sunday. And while true fans of the two competing teams for professional football’s 44th (XLIV) championship, The New Orleans Saints and The Indianapolis Colts, likely don’t extend too much beyond Louisiana and Indiana respectively, Super Bowl Sunday, for the unattached and/or casual fan, is far beyond the two teams. Read more...
As bad as it is to stereotype a whole race, there are certain stereotypes that are more rooted in reality than others. Let’s be honest—Koreans do drink alcohol like water, Chinese really will eat anything, the Japanese are all-around freaks and Filipinos love to sing. Seriously, it’s like Filipinos are born with a musical gene. I’ve only met two Filipinos in my life with no musical skills and they were looked upon as if they had the Elephant Man disease. I remember a few years ago when the film Colma: The Musical came out and someone told me it was about a gay Filipino teen who breaks out into song and dance for no reason. I assumed it was a documentary.
A lot of Asians are into karaoke, but I don’t think anyone can top the Filipinos in their passion for it. If you’ve gone out to karaoke, I’m sure you’ve experienced something like this—everyone is singing, drinking and having a good time. Then, a Filipino dude or dudette walks in. The Filipino individual acts all shy and protests when you ask them if they want a turn, but when he or she takes the mike, they have an amazing voice that could give Simon Cowell multiple orgasms and suddenly everyone else is self-conscious about their own “sucky” singing and the evening isn’t as fun anymore. Well, if you think that’s bad, today’s New York Times has a story about how picking the wrong song when you karaoke in the Philippines could get you killed. Yup, killed.
And what is this deadly song? Frank Sinatra’s “My Way”: Read more...
By now, I’m sure most of our readers know about the very serious problem Toyota is experiencing. A global recall affecting 4.5 million of their vehicles is taking place because of possible faulty pedals that could become jammed causing your car to continue accelerating when you’d rather stop. While the company has reassured its customers this is a rare problem, it’s still a scary possibility.
So what do you do if you’re driving down the freeway at 70 mph and you see traffic and brake lights ahead, but when you lift your foot off the gas pedal, nothing happens? It’s stuck and your car continues accelerating at its current speed. Read more...
Getting selected to be an ambassador to a foreign country isn’t the easiest thing in the world. Qualified candidates are rejected all the time for a myriad of reasons. But when Pakistani diplomat Miangul Akbar Zeb was recently declined accreditation to serve as his country’s ambassador to Saudi Arabia, it was for an unusual reason…his name.
Would-be ambassador Zeb
It turns out his name is problematic. In Arabic, “Akbar” means “the biggest.” No problem there, Akbar is a common name in the Muslim community. But “Zeb,” which is a common Urdu name, has a specific meaning in Arabic too: penis, cock, dick. So in Arabic, the good diplomat’s name literally means “the biggest dick.” And that would be a no-no in the very conservative country of Saudi Arabia (see article here). Read more...
Firing someone is the worst. Hiring them is a close second.
You meet with them, glance at their resume, try to engage them in some informal chit chat. Maybe, if you’re in an impish, dickish mood, you ask them, “If you could invite any 12 people in history to a dinner party, in what order would you seat them at the table and why?” Of course you have no interest in an answer to the question, you just want to see whether they get the joke and laugh at you, freeze up, or begin to fire off kiss-ass staples like Lincoln, Jesus and Gandhi in an attempt to say what they think you want to hear. (for the record: if you’re ever put on the spot like this, ask your interviewer who they would choose, or just be honest: if it’s Kyle from South Park, or Jenna from 30 Rock, or the Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons, then that’s who it is. Doesn’t have to be Immanuel Kant passing the peas to Rosa Parks. Read more...
Ever watched a movie and thought to yourself “This ending is ridiculous!” or “Why didn’t they just do this?”. Well the funny and creative guys from How It Should Have Ended created a season full of animated parody movie endings that had me cracking up. And when I saw their take on Terminator, I knew there was pure genius behind these ideas.
What’s a movie ending you thought needed a little changing?Read more...
I wanted to share with you a video I saw recently made by some good friends I worked on from Fast and Furious. Their efforts in helping Haiti is truly inspiring and touching. Have a great weekend!
Yes, I shop at Sephora. Soft, supple, youthful skin is a requirement in my line of work. And in order to prevent premature “rasining” of thy face, I spend a significant amount of money on facial creams, lotions, toner, bull semen, etc. Shopping at Sephora helps me save money in my quest to look forever like a yellow Zac Efron.
As a loyal Sephora customer, I get emails from time to time notifying me of sales and the like. This morning I got the latest one. And who greeted me? The dreamy, Kim Kardashian. But wait? Is that really her? She’s so…white. I mean, really white. Like the color white. Like bleached white. When did this happen? Yes, I understand that she’s half Scottish/Dutch. But her other, more genetically dominant half is Armenian (Turkish/Russian). She is naturally a darker skinned lass (and a beautiful one at that). If you locked her up in a sunless mall for 10 years, she’d at worst emerge with a nice, tropical tan. Much like the Na’vi is forever blue, KK is forever brown (ish). I am vexed. Read more...
Back in high school, I received a sample flashcard in the mail with the word “AMELIORATE” on it. It was accompanied by a sales brochure announcing that I could learn ALL of my SAT words in seconds, with this incredible deck of really ugly flashcards. I tossed the card and the brochure, but I’ve never forgotten that word, or the definition. And I did do kind of badly on my SATs.
Lately I’ve been thinking about flashcards again. I need to learn lots of things, like financial terms, how to perform CPR, what is it about baseball that is so captivating . . . so I’m going to try doing a few. Read more...
I was a bit bored yesterday and feeling a tad blue when a good buddy of mine (EMun) emailed me a link to turn myself into a Na’vi warrior. Given the fact that I’m a closeted geek and someone who throughly enjoyed James Cameron’s Avatar, I could not resist. Without delay, I found a non-zitty picture of my face and, with a few clicks and a confirm, morphed myself into a Na’vi of the Omaticaya clan. Strangely enough, I rather enjoy my new skin of a blue hue (it’s not all that far off from yellow). I find it peaceful and quiet becoming. So if you’re feeling a bit down or a tad blue inside, try morphing your outer self into a radiant Na’vi azure. Who knows? Perhaps you’ll discover a renewed energy, joy, and optimism emanating from your newly awakened Toruk Makto. www.avatarizeyourself.com/
I see you…
yes, they even have a McDonald's floating around the Hallelujah Mountains. is nothing sacred? Read more...
Hey true believers (to quote Marvel Comics founder Stan Lee), YOMYOMF is finally on Twitter. That’s right, now you can follow your favorite bunch of irascible blogging fiends, who just so happen to be Asian American. Aside from getting tweets of new blog posts, we’ll be tweeting about non-blog stuff as well. Maybe even doing a contest or two. So what are you waiting for? Hey, if The Situation can tweet, so can we, right?
Konrad Ng, PhD is an assistant professor at the University of Hawaii at Manoa, where he teaches film theory at the Academy for Creative Media (ACM). Originally from Burlington, Ontario (that’s Canada, folks), Konrad, on occasion, has cravings for Smarties and maple syrup. On January 20, 2009, Konrad became mistaken for someone else.
As the inaugural “Guest Offender,” allow me to treat this post as an opportunity to express some long-gestating thoughts about new media activism and Asian America. An appropriate starting point, I think, is Phil Yu’s blog, Angry Asian Man.
FYI, this is not Konrad, it's Angry Asian Man
I read my first Angry Asian Man post soon after the blog was established in 2001 and since then, the site has been a regular stop in my cyber-neighborhood. At the time of Angry Asian Man’s inception, the internet was seen as the new frontier of cultural, economic, media and political opportunity, a novel playground for chatter and exploration. The blog’s first post staked out new terrain for Asian America by expanding the constellation of Asian American activism to include cyberspace and introducing a playful, cacophonous and satirical pop culture infused pedagogy. Angry Asian Man is now iconographic of a brand of Asian American blogging that has grown in influence and audience. Of course, the rise of Angry Asian Man and sites like it, is now well-known and seemingly on the verge of being canonized in Asian American studies. So, let me turn to YomYomF, a site that offers an interesting addition to this trajectory of new media engagement. Read more...
Twenty-seven years ago today on February 4, 1983, Karen Carpenter died at the age of 32 from heart failure; caused by complications from anorexia nervosa. Along with her brother Richard, she formed the Carpenters and became the #1 selling American musical act of the 1970s with such hits as “Close To You,” “We’ve Only Just Begun,” “Goodbye To Love” and “Top of the World.”
Growing up, I was a closet Carpenters fan. I say “closet” because it wasn’t necessarily “cool” to like the Carpenters. I was into acts like Sonic Youth and The Red Hot Chili Peppers, and I would’ve lost serious cred if I admitted to being a Carpenters fan. So I listened to them in the privacy of my own room with the doors locked, but I would later learn that the “cool” bands like Sonic Youth were themselves Carpenters fans. Read more...
Along with a love for food, angst tops the chart of the Asian compulsions. Here are some sources of our angst…
A is for straight As. That letter has been ingrained into our minds since we were first able to read. Anything less than an ‘A’ was akin to sacrilege.
N is for No. Whether you’re the girl seeking permission to leave the watch of the warden…I mean, your parents, or the boy asking that cheerleader to the prom, the anticipation and utterance of the word ‘No’ creates more turmoil in the gut than a daily dose of kimchi. Read more...
A lot of people are still feeling the economic pinch. The unemployment figures are way up and it remains tough all around. The last thing anyone needs is the pressure of another holiday created by greedy corporate capitalists designed to guilt you into spending money you don’t have to buy things you don’t necessarily need. But alas, this Sunday is Valentine’s Day so you’re shit out of luck. And unlike in Asia where women buy men presents for Valentine’s, in the U.S. the pressure is on the guys to come through with gifts and goodies for their women. Yeah, it’s ass backwards here, tell me about it.
So for all of you guys going through financial difficulties who are now also stressing out because your significant other is expecting something “special” (i.e. expensive) for Valentine’s, I’m here to help. You can surf the net and find plenty of tips on how to do Valentine’s on a budget (see here and here for examples), but come on—taking your woman shopping at a 99 cent store or for a free romantic walk on the beach only reinforces the fact that you’re cheap and/or broke. That won’t fly. Especially if you’re with an Asian chick. And if she’s Korean, forget about it! In that case, Valentine’s Day may just as well be called “My boyfriend is required to buy me a new Prada purse and diamond necklace or I won’t have sex with him for six months” Day. 
