
Recently I was contacted by a young alumna from my college who requested advice on breaking into the movie business. This woman was different from the usual newbies in that she was contemplating a big career change. She was a successful investment banker who wanted to leave her job and chase her dream of becoming a creative producer of independent films. So, I started out warning her as others have done for me when I first started – if you can make a living doing anything else and don’t hate yourself for doing it, then don’t build your livelihood around film as it is such a difficult and mercurial business.But in saying this to her, it got me wondering whether following one’s true calling and being able to make a living at it is a luxury or the only way to be truly successful at anything. (Following one’s calling while being funded by parents/spouses/sugar-parents doesn’t count as there’s no skin in the game) Some happiness theorists, consider this experience of being so positively connected to one’s work that you lose all sense of time aka “flow” as a critical component of achieving satisfaction in life (along with strong personal relationships). Granted we all need to work to cover the basics of food, shelter, clothing, healthcare and kids for some. But to what extent is work a means to an end vs. a basis for our sense of purpose in life? Do you work to live or live to work? Or maybe both?
DHH: My 16 year-old son and I were just talking the other day about career choices. He said, “I think I’d rather do something I like than something that makes a lot of money.” I explained that, when I first started wanting to write plays, I didn’t expect to make money from it, and certainly never expected to have shows on Broadway. If you do something you love, you’re more likely to work hard, achieve more, and it won’t feel like work. Then, at some point down the line, there’ll be a decent chance you can find a way to make some money from it.
Work and life, in my view, are inseparable. We spend a huge part of our lives working, right? So a good work life is a huge part of having a good life.
QUENTIN: I do agree with David that work and life are inseparable if you are a creative person. If you’re a writer, most likely you’ll be thinking about ideas and storytelling all the time. When I take a job as a means to an end, I am always watching the clock and I know clearly that it is a job. But when I’m doing what I want to do, regardless of financial gain, I’m really living a good life. Great advice, David!
ALFREDO: I forget who said it, but here’s the quote: “Do what you love and you’ll never work another day in your life.”That’s the gold standard. That’s Approach A. And kudos to anyone who can pull it off.Approach B, which a very close friend of mine has taken, is this: work and passion do not mix. Period. Do not let money come between the two. So all his life he has worked at whatever jobs demanded the least of his time and mental energy: video store clerk, UPS store guy, storage warehouse worker, etc., and in his free time he has painted, written, read, watched TV, travelled – on his terms. His basic attitude is, “work” gets the lesser part of me, free time gets the “best” me.One caveat: he has no one to support but himself. Me, I’ve split the difference. I have a family of four to support, so what I did is this – in the same year, I jumped into screenwriting and opened two bars. I’ve been fortunate: over the years I’ve earned roughly the same amount of money from both, but the bars allow me the luxury of not being desperate about getting screenwriting jobs in the lean years – desirous, ambitious, covetous about them, sure – but not couch surfing down to my last cup of Top Ramen desperate. And as Elaine said, show biz is feast or famine, so you gotta have a Plan B to keep your sanity, unless you really, really love Top Ramen.
PHILIP: I couldn’t imagine working at a job I didn’t feel passionate about and loved. But as a child of immigrants, I know what a privileged and lucky position that is. My parents came to America and worked at a job that was by no means their dream job so their children didn’t have to do that. I realize that’s the case with most of the people in the world–they work at jobs they’d rather not do to support their families and to make a living. I think that takes a certain type of strength that I probably don’t have because I don’t think I could do that. My parents made me get a series of “menial” jobs as a kid–cleaning the public restrooms at the park, washing dishes at their friend’s restaurant, etc… to hopefully instill in me an appreciation of what most people have to go through but I think it was a way of also saying that if I worked hard, I had a chance to do more with that with my life. Or at least that was the lesson I learned. And as tough as the artist’s life has been at times (yes, I really, really learned to love Top Ramen), I don’t think I could trade it in for a well-paying job that I would hate.

JUSTIN: I totally agree with the idea of striving to make your living doing what you love. But the truth is that it’s a match rarely achieved. I’d go with the Kenny Rogers/The gambler rule on it– got to know when to hold, when to fold, when to walk and when to run. And at the end of the day if you can’t make a living doing what you love it’s okay. You’ll still be able to do it, but instead of a job it’s called a hobby.
ROGER: I too, much like Justin alluded to above, agree with the idea of striving to make a living doing what you love. And after almost 20 years of trying, and watching others try, to unite personal passion with stable, paid work, I too have come to the conclusion that it is indeed a match rarely achieved. Especially over consistent, longer periods of time.I think Offender Alfredo phrased it best from the pragmatic point of view – have a Plan B that will enable you to financially weather the more money-lean creative years of your Plan A. Such a plan will enable you to keep your creativity pure and your spirits high. Worrying about money sucks. Take the money out of the equation and you can live to fight another day and you’ll most likely be able to love and enjoy your creative process without any unnecessary outside pressures.
And I think Offender Justin phrased it best from the more spiritual point of view – if you ultimately can’t make a living doing what you love, it’s okay. It’s not a failure. Just re-engineer your life so that you can take care of your pragmatics and section off enough free time to consistently and continually indulge in your passions and capacity to create. Be flexible with your expectations and what your definition of “success” looks like and create the time and space for you to experience your creative flow.
My personal scorecard? I think I’ve done ok with the pragmatics. I have lived a frugal life and saved and invested much of the money I earned in Hollywood. I have created my version of Alfredo’s “opening 2 bars.” Though now, being married with children, I certainly wish to up my financial game so that my 2 baby girls can experience more choices in their many years ahead.
As for the spiritual, I sucked at it for quite some time. If anything, I had insanely high expectations of my career. And when certain ideals didn’t materialize in the manner I expected, I found myself wrestling with disappointment, anger, and depression. That being said, I am a much humbler person now and someone who is much more aware of keeping my expectations in check. If anything, I am learning to enjoy and appreciate the day to day beauty of the journey, no matter where it may lead.
Sitting in the corner of a bench, in a park somewhere, I looked at the children playing in the playground and my mind went back to those years where I struggled to understand my parents and just wanted to go away. I guess that is why I studied so hard to become a flight attendant (there was definitely no money for the pilot adventure.) But destiny came to the rescue when I was just 16 -somebody thought that with my voice I should make a career in radio, and he took me to the right place at the right time. Nobody could see that coming, except for my perfect diction which caused some teasing now and then -I was born in Seville, so I was supposed to speak with a very very very relaxed accent and shorten the words and… who cares? This is taking too long… Back to the point, yes! I ended up doing something that I was not even dreaming for!! And it wasn’t that well paid -as most people would think, but I did have THE lifestyle and I loved it, it didn’t feel like working… jeez, what a good feeling! I also had the chance to work as a flight attendant, but that was harder and different from what I thought it would be. Now I am living in another country, with a family to look after and that I have to provide for, in a language that it is not mine, in a field that I try to keep as close to the media as possible and finding the balance between work to live / live to work… but dreaming now like I didn’t do before.
@Azucena
Wait – did you say Seville – where my dad currently lives?! So you know the Barrio de Santa Cruz, Casa Pilatus, the spooky hoods during Easter (pirotes?), the Corte Ingles, Calle Sierpes, etc..?
Hi Alfredo! My parents and most of my family and relatives still live there… I do know all those places! In Barrio Santa Cruz, the Plaza Doña Elvira is the one where you can see the full moon over the Giralda… it is a magic place and it is in many postcards. Calle Sierpes is one of the best spots to watch the ‘pasos’ during the Holy Week (Easter) yes, with all the nazarenos and their capirotes … Casa Pilatos is where you can listen some of the best flamenco these days…. and I could go on and on… Have you been there? Your dad has a very good taste… good on him! The true essence of Spain is just here.
@Azucena
Absolutely I have been there. the last time about a year ago:
http://youoffendmeyouoffendmyfamily.com/top-five-things-about-visiting-spain-besides-the-fact-that-youre-in-spain/
“if you ultimately can’t make a living doing what you love, it’s okay. It’s not a failure. Just re-engineer your life so that you can take care of your pragmatics and section off enough free time to consistently and continually indulge in your passions and capacity to create. ”
I think this is more realistic for a lot of people, especially when you are just starting out and you don’t have a lot of savings to work with, but you do have plenty of student loans to pay off. As you get older and have more of a cushion to fall back on it can be easier to take risks and work for your passion instead of an income.
@Alfredo
Hahahahahaha, I went to the link and read your post, it was hilarious! And so true! The funny thing is that I’ve been an insider, but I look at things here from an outsider perspective -I feel like a tourist in my own country?!, and the perception I have is pretty much the same as yours. My mum gets bothered if we walk separately… I can tell!! And she doesn’t have any rheumatism (is that the right spelling??) or problem with her legs!! It’s also funny when you say that Europeans are less worried about being naked, but how come that Americans are more worried about these issues, including sexuality? When I look at Beyonce singing or dancing… what is she exactly trying to tell???