This Halloween marks the 20th anniversary of Yoshiro Hattori’s murder that once shocked the world as a real haunting Halloween tale. The real Michael Myers is not a man in a mask but a redneck with a gun in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
I wanted to post an appropriate Halloween-themed blog but over the past few years, I’ve written a number of blogs about all things horrific/supernatural/spooky (like this and this) that I don’t know if I have any additional stories that could top what’s already come. So if you’ll indulge me, I would like to tell a different kind of Halloween story; about a different kind of horror. One that involves an old woman, a young boy in a cheap skeleton costume and a trick-or-treat experience gone wrong.
I immigrated to the U.S. from Korea when I was four and one of my family’s early residences was a small two bedroom apartment in the sleepy San Gabriel Valley suburb of Alhambra, California. Alhambra is a mecca for all things Asian now (including some of the best Chinese food around), but back in the early 80s, the huge influx of Asian immigrants hadn’t arrived quite yet. Our neighborhood was mostly white and Latino and next to our apartment building was a house where an elderly Caucasian lady resided.
Now I don’t happen to know Carrot Top or Madonna…
BUT….when someone you know gets plastic surgery, here are five things you don’t do:
1. Don’t ask them about it.
2. If they do bring it up, don’t criticize. If they tell you they’re contemplating it, resist the temptation to call it a “crazy idea.” And, by the way, it is equally important not to agree with them, that, yes, they really do need the work done (file under damned if you do, damned if you don’t).
3. Don’t offer judgment on the procedure’s success.
4. Don’t gossip.
Since Halloween is this week, let’s talk about incidents from the past that scared you silly, either real or a figment of your imagination. It could be a coat rack that you mistook for a shadowy man in your room or if you believe in the supernatural, it could be a situation where you truly believed something happened like a haunting or something similar. Either way, let’s try to scare the living crap out of each other with this week’s ATH!
This was supposed to be a perfunctory phonecall: mom and I were supposed to talk about wedding blah blah blah hurts-my-head-too blah blah blah wedding blah. But Dad pushed my mom aside to land the news onto my nose.
It made me pause. Life is so fleeting. I had just read Roger’s brush with the possibility of death (see this week’s AROUND THE HORN) and was marveling at the idea that someone I used to drink with might someday possibly be.. gone… and so Uncle Ferdie’s death was a reality check.
According to research conducted by South Korean researchers, men can increase their life span by up to a whopping 14-19 additional years by doing one thing…become a eunuch.
And for those firmly rooted in the 21st century who have no idea what a eunuch is, let our friends at Urban Dictionary lay it out for you:
1) a male whose balls have been removed, either for government service (such as in ancient Africa and Rome) or, if the castration takes place before puburty, to prevent the voice from breaking (Italian opera’s male sopranos of the 17th thru 19th centuries). In the present day, this sort of eunuch may result from testicular cancer.
The Book Club – All Valley (Vol. 5)
The boys are back in town, but so is a rival book club!
When their confidence is shattered by the Cobra Chai, the Book Club turns to Blake Griffin for reading advice. Naturally.
The Book Club – The Warrior Reads On (Vol. 6)
The epic conclusion is here!
It’s hipsters versus… whatever the Book Club guys are in a decisive duel to decide who’s tops and who gets Elizabeth Shue.
Ground Game (Ep 3 of 6)
The office hijinks continue!
Just as Macy continues to make Gavin’s life difficult, office dolt Miles gets into an awkward situation with a potential voter.
The Short List is a YOMYOMF Network series, where we present short films we love every Friday at Noon EST. For the month of October, we’re celebrating the strange, the macabre, and the outright scary — Perfect for Halloween!
We’ve reached out to the filmmakers with 5 Questions to see what’s up since the production of their short film. It’s a way for them to revisit their film and get an update on their next projects. You can view all The Short List films here.
This week, we ask 5 questions to director James Cookson about his film, SEE/SAW:[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ahFPGC3XQs&feature=share&list=PL1E5C20D38BA7F265[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tdoUsf6SrY&feature=share&list=PL1E5C20D38BA7F265[/youtube]Prepared to be freaked out! Here is the final episode of our month long SILENT TERROR series in honor of BooTube on the YOMYOMF Network. From Filipino director Erik Matti, the story shows a timid man’s mundane life, until it takes a turn when he’s awakened by a vision of the Virgin Mary.
Erik is one of the most prolific genre filmmakers working in Southeast Asia today and has just opened a full-fledged green screen studio in the Philippines, where his team can produce some pretty amazing stuff. In fact, when I originally asked Erik to be a part of SILENT TERROR, I thought he would have declined, because he was knee deep in post production hell, getting his latest film, TIKTIK: THE ASWANG CHRONICLES ready for a Halloween release in the Philippines. Check out the trailer:[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xk2rccJ_vl0[/youtube]The film opened on Oct 17th.
Calling this a “diamond” would be an insult, because it’s not. The closest thing I could find in this long winded ad to the definition of what the “Stauer DiamondAura” actually is, is this:
“…heating rare minerals to temperatures of nearly 5000 degrees Fahrenheit.”
Rare minerals, hmm? Copper? Magnesium? Pewter? Lead? Arsenic? I’m sure it’s all perfectly safe and healthy and won’t eventually leave weird little green and orange rust marks on your fingers, or give you lymphatic cancer.
Let’s not lose sight of the important things: “You can absolutely take her breath away for under $100.” Classier than punching her in the gut and cheaper than skydiving lessons.
Tonight, we posted the final two episodes of our YOMYOMF Network series The Book Club. It was an epic Karate Kid-inspired two-parter with guest appearances from basketball great Blake Griffin and Community star Gillian Jacobs. If you haven’t yet, see them in all their glory here:
Now, my intention isn’t to single out The Book Club over any of our other programs because as proud of the show as I am, there are plenty of other videos on our channel that I’m equally proud of. But what makes the conclusion of this series special in a different way is that The Book Club represents sort of the end of the beginning (in the best possible way).
Yes, I know…if you have to sit through another Gangnam style parody, you’re liable to go gangnam on someone’s ass, but if you’re as big of a fan of the 1987 John Carpenter cult classic Big Trouble in Little China as I am, you’ll want to check out this parody that the man himself, John Carpenter, introduced at this past weekend’s Screamfest.
So get ready to go “David Lo Pan” style and if you needed another reason to watch this, check out the cameo from original Lo Pan—the legendary James Hong (Whom you’ll also see in our YOMYOMF Network wrestling comedy series Mat Men coming soon).
So check it out below and promise no more gangnam parodies. Well, unless someone decides to make the John Carpenter The Thing parody version.