The YOMYOMF Network: The Bananapocalypse Begins!

What is the Bananapocalypse? Well, you’ll find out this Monday, June 4 when our promo video officially announcing the launch of our new YOMYOMF Network on YouTube drops. But here’s another exclusive image from the video to give you an additional clue in the meantime:

Yup, that’s the lovely Jessica Alba washing a car with our sexy friend/Guest Offender Parvesh Cheena (Outsourced) while a cowboy whips a giant cock rooster in the background. So what does that all mean?

Again, you’ll find out on June 4.

But let’s review the images you’ve already seen…

Why Japan is Awesome #354: Salty Watermelon Pepsi

Pepsico is launching a new flavor of their Pepsi soda later this summer—salty watermelon.

Supposedly, sprinkling salt on watermelon is a thing in Japan and this isn’t even the first food product there that mixes the two. Kit Kat has had a salt and watermelon version of their chocolates for years now:

SAF Seeking… Wedding UGGs!

Say Yes to the UGG!

Wedding UGGs?!?!? Oh the answer is YES YES YES!!!!

Your wedding day is one of those days when you’re constantly on your feet! AND for a majority of women, you’ll be wearing a long gown anyway! No one’s gonna see your shoes!

You can moisturize your feet while IN the shoe!

You can RUN!

You can actually jump for joy!

No heels to sink into the grass!

No snaring your dress on the heel!

You can even stick your cell phone into the collar of it, so no need to carry around one of those bedazzled wedding purses!


The Reluctant Extrovert

Really? You’re saying. I’m really an introvert. You’re kidding? I’m really a reluctant extrovert because I over compensate for being an Asian immigrant. Compared to American culture, I think most Asian cultures are more “introverted’ in a sense that they are more of a hearer-based culture rather than a speaker-based culture.

When I was in grad school, I read Daborah Tannen’s groundbreaking You Just Don’t Understanding about how women converse differently than men. In American culture, the goal of male conversation is to make a point while the goal of female conversation is to interact. So that’s why men complain about being frustrated with women making small talk while women complain about not getting along with men. According to Tannen, men and women do talk differently because their goals of conversation are usually different.

Wacky Movie Posters from Cannes

No, I’m not saying the official poster above is wacky. In fact, I like it a lot.

I’m writing this blog in transit back to LA from a just concluded Cannes Film Festival, where the Palme d’Or went to Michael Haneke’s moving and tragic love story Amour. It was a safe choice, considering that the selections this year were pretty weak, especially in the American front, and absolutely nil on Asian film representation. For a full list of winners, you can click here.

LeBron James: Fashion Maverick or Silly Poseur?

LeBron James, circa now

Kurt Rambis, circa 1985

LeBron James only wishes he was Kurt Rambis.

I was watching a little promo spot during one of the recent Heat playoff games – some puff piece about all the good LeBron is doing for poor kids – when I suddenly realized the hipster-nerd glasses he was wearing had no lenses in them.

At first I was irritated, then I was a little more irritated, then I got really irritated, and then I wondered whether I was wrong to be irritated at all: if you’re going to adopt an affectation like geeky glasses when you don’t need them, is it more – or less – admirable, to call attention to the fact that they’re unnecessary?

An Open Letter to Couples Thinking of a Holiday Wedding

Dear About To Be Married Couple:

I bring up the following issue because this past weekend was the Memorial Day holiday and it seemed like there were a more-than-usual number of weddings that took place (though I should point out that I, myself, did not attend any weddings this past weekend). Now, I understand why a three-day holiday seems like the perfect time to hold your wedding—your guests will most likely have that extra day off from work so it seems like the most convenient time for your special day.

But if you’re thinking of scheduling your wedding on an upcoming holiday, I implore you to stop and think about what you’re doing. Because if you truly did, you would understand that holidays—and especially long holiday weekends–are the worst time to schedule your special day.

5 Hollywood War Films that Acknowledge the Existence of Asian American Soldiers

It’s Memorial Day and as we remember those Americans who fought and died for our country, we should also remember that many of these soldiers were Asian Americans. Hollywood has produced its share of war movies, but when you usually see Asian faces in them, they are that of the enemy. However, here are five films that buck that pattern and acknowledge the existence of Asian Americans in the U.S. military. In no particular order:

Director: Randall Wallace

When Asians appear in a Vietnam War film, they are almost always the faceless, pajama-clad bad guys. But in this big screen account of the 1965 Battle of la Drang, Wallace and a pre-mental breakdown Mel Gibson not only portray the Vietcong with more depth than in previous Hollywood movies, but also include the character of Jimmy Nakayama, a real-life Japanese American soldier who fought and died by friendly fire on the battlefield. Played by Honorary Offender/Tokyo Drift villain Brian Tee, Nakayama’s on screen death includes a poignant moment where he asks a reporter to tell his wife and newborn child that he loves them–succinctly driving home the film’s signature line with an emotional wallop that humanizes the cost of war.

Coffee With Satan: Satan’s Personal Memorial Day

I met Satan last Saturday at the Starbucks on Olympic and Sawtelle. To celebrate Memorial Day weekend, S. wanted to discuss his/her favorite President. S. had glassy eyes and a lost look of a great era. There was a lot of affection for George W. Bush.

S: I miss George.

N: So, W. really was evil.

S: Oh yeah. He wasn’t as evil as Chinaman and Rum Punch.

N: Do you mean, Cheney and Rumsfeld?

S: Right. Or Range Rover.

N: Karl Rove?

S: I loved Range Rover. And Last Rites. She was awesome.

N: Is “Last Rites” Condolezza Rice?

SAF Seeking… Where’s the Tampon??

Dang it, I knew I should've used my diva cup this month.

F*ck. Is there a tampon in me?

It’s a typical female question. It’s also a common problem. I am currently so stressed by work and other commitments, I have no idea if I stuck in a tampon and forgot to take the first one out.

Add Your Own Caption: Fast & Furious Toddlers Edition

If you’re not already following us on Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr, you’re missing out on a lot of extras you won’t find here on our blog including updates on various Offender-related projects (like the most recent updates about our upcoming YOMYOMF Network on YouTube launching in June) and silly, fun things like “Add Your Own Caption.” This is where we post an image we find online or that our readers forward to us and ask you to write an appropriate caption to accompany that image. And we’ll feature some of the captions here.

And the featured caption for this week comes from reader Bobs Handy:

After being indicted of insider trading, the E-Trade baby tries to make it a run to Mexico.

So check out our Facebook page for future editions of “Add Your Own Caption”, write your own caption and/or “like” the ones you think are worthy and we may share them here.

You Gotta Have Faith

[vimeo][/vimeo]I love Jon Moritsugu. He is a true pioneer of Asian American cinema. His three seminal, mindfuck for films — Scumrock, Fame Whore and Mod Fuck Explosion — came out of the heyday of American underground indie cinema of the ’90s much like the works of Gregg Araki. His films pushed boundaries of exploitation, good taste, and embodied a punk rock attitude that was not seen in much films back in the day. I was absolutely blown away by them.