You are currently browsing the archives for December 2011.

Add Your Own Caption: Once More with Feeling Edition

  • December 31, 2011 12:02 am

If you’re not already following us on Facebook, Twitter and our new Tumblr, you’re missing out on a lot of extras you won’t find here on our blog including updates on various Offender-related projects (like the most recent updates about our upcoming YOMYOMF Network on YouTube) and silly, fun things like “Add Your Own Caption.” This is where we post an image we find online or that our readers forward to us and ask you to write an appropriate caption to accompany that image. And we’ll feature some of the captions here.

And the “best” caption for this final week of 2011 comes from reader Aaron Shizuo Aoki:

“Socket to me!"

So check out our Facebook page for future editions of “Add Your Own Caption”, write your own caption and/or “like” the ones you think are worthy and we may share them here.  Read more...

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A year’s worth of shout-outs – 2011.

  • December 31, 2011 12:00 am

Jesus H. Christ – 2011 is nearly over. 365 days gone, just like that. The road behind me is stretching longer and longer and often I wonder what will happen next, what people will enter my life and whose lives I will enter. Maybe I’ll enter a few women too – haha, intercourse.

But switching gears for a second, I’d now like to take this time to seriously and genuinely contemplate those that have walked into my life over the past year – however brief or long they might have stayed. Some may still, in fact, be in my life as I write this, to which I can only ask, “What the hell are you thinking?”

Let me not waste any more of your precious 2011 seconds:  Read more...

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A Vasectomy, Pain, and the Toll on a Marriage

  • December 30, 2011 4:49 am

I beg your forgiveness in advance, dear reader – as you might’ve guessed by the title, this isn’t exactly holiday fare, and it’s a bit long – but for anyone thinking about permanent birth control, or living with ongoing pain, this is my gift to you.

I had my vasectomy on a Friday afternoon six years ago – Friday the 13th, actually.

A few things I remember about that half hour in the doctor’s office: the female nurse shaving my testicles without water or shaving cream; the deep bite marks I left on the colored block of wood I brought along with me (borrowed from my son’s toy block set); the doctor adding extra cc’s of lidocaine to my left testicle because, as he put it, it was “tougher” than the right side; and the long puddle of sweat I left on the examination table.  Read more...

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Happy New Year or the Perils of Time Travel

  • December 30, 2011 12:01 am

This is the time when we look back at the past year and think about what we’ve done, where we’ve been, what we’ve learned and how far we’ve come (or maybe not come). I generally eschew these sort of end-of-the-year reflections, but these thoughts have been on my mind because the book I find myself reading as 2011 draws to a close is Evan Mandery’s latest novel Q.

Q is the story of an unnamed male protagonist, a writer/teacher, who is about to marry Quentina Elizabeth Deveril (the titular Q) a.k.a. the love of his life. But just before the wedding, our hero is visited by an old man who claims to be the future version of himself. The old man has indeed traveled back from the future and implores our hero not to marry Q because doing so will lead to dire and tragic consequences later in his life. Once our hero is convinced that his future self is really who he says he is and is serious, he heeds his advice and breaks off his engagement with Q.  Read more...

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What I Didn’t Get for Christmas: A $130,000 Diamond Toilet

  • December 29, 2011 12:02 am

No one beats the Japanese when it comes to the latest in toilet design and innovation, but their latest toilet creation might be considered even excessive for them. I give you the diamond-encrusted toilet valued at 10 million yen ($130,000):

Manufactured by Japanese company INAX and an Austrian jeweler, this creation contains 72,000 pieces of Swarovski cut crystal. Now, I have no idea what that is, but it definitely sounds impressive and expensive, which I suppose is the point if you’re going to make a toilet out of diamonds.  Read more...

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FLOUNDERING FILM FLUNKEE starts documenting everything!

  • December 29, 2011 12:00 am

Stifling my creativity is akin to holding my breath – sooner than later, I can only do it for so long before I need to come up for air.

In terms of writing, I get my daily burst of air from creating some poetry. Easy enough to do on my own. Filmmaking, on the other hand, usually requires a team of people. But if I can’t make something new everyday – or at least fairly frequently – I’m gonna wilt.

I can’t very well let myself suffocate, can I?

Recently, I found a solution: grabbing a video camera and recording everything – ALL THE THINGS!  Read more...

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A Funeral, a Baby and a Movie

  • December 28, 2011 12:54 pm

This may sound like the most cliché holiday movie title but that was pretty much my year. My good friend J passed away the past April. It was really the first time that a good friend of my age died. Before J, the only person who was close to me passed away was my grandmother in 1993. Even to this day, which hasn’t been that long, I am still trying to make sense emotionally of the radical discontinuity of J’s death. The day before I spoke to him on the phone and the day after I could not talk to him forever.

On top of all that, the circumstances around his death were unusual. We kind of knew what happened but nothing was confirmed except to the police and his immediate family. A police investigation and arrests were also involved which further complicated the scenario.  Read more...

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If You’re a Japanese Woman, There’s a Good Chance You’re a Porn Star

  • December 28, 2011 12:01 am

I’ve always thought the Japanese were pretty awesome and here’s further proof of that: Apparently one Japanese woman in 200 has performed in a porn film.

Now, this number comes from a source in the Japanese porn industry and there doesn’t seem to be any real statistical data to support it, but let’s assume it’s true because, well, the world just seems better that way.

But lest you think this is a random figure, there is a logic behind it. According to this source, Japan releases 35,000 adult productions each year, which breaks down to a staggering 100 films per day. Between 2,000-3,000 new actresses make their debut every year and the industry has 150,000 experienced actresses in its ranks. There are 30 million Japanese woman between the ages of 19-55 so if one does the math…that comes out to one in 200 woman plying her wares in the porn biz.  Read more...

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Best Victory Celebrations: Touchdowns vs. Soccer Goals

  • December 27, 2011 4:32 am

My fifteen year old son Rafael’s DVR season passes include No Huddle, Sound FX, NFL Total Access, NFL Fantasy Live,The League, The Rich Eisen Podcast, and The Coach Show.

My DVR season passes include the Spanish Primera Division Soccer, Oh My Gol!, Bundesliga Soccer, and the UEFA Europa League Soccer.

I was born in Spain.

My son was born in the U.S. of A.

But whether you like or despise universal health care, like or despise a big military, like or despise stinky cheeses, I think we can all agree that NFL player Joe Horn’s “cell phone” celebration is the best victory celebration on either continent.

 Read more...

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More From the Masturbation Champion of the World (And Yes, He’s Still Japanese)

  • December 27, 2011 12:01 am

Regular YOMYOMF readers may remember Tokyo native Masanobu Sato who holds the world record for the longest continuous masturbation session at 9 hours and 58 minutes. Not only have I blogged about Sato before but even offered to sponsor him for his upcoming competitions (no response yet unfortunately).

Well, if you’ve wanted to know more about what makes this talented young man tick and get a glimpse into his life, the folks at Metropolis TV recently did a profile of Sato, which you can watch below. But if you’re just interested in the highlights, here are some factoids from the segment:  Read more...

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Around the Horn: It’s The Thought That Counts

  • December 26, 2011 8:54 pm

There's something for everyone

Buying gifts during the holidays tends to be a double-edged sword for me.  It’s actually quite fun and novel for me to find things for people I don’t normally buy gifts for –  friends, colleagues, and those who have hard jobs helping people like me out (eg: the staff at my doctor’s office who normally get chewed out by fussy Santa Monica housewives).  I like to figure out what they need, what they wouldn’t buy for themselves but would enjoy, etc.  Read more...

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One Man’s Mental Process When Eating at an Expensive Restaurant.

  • December 26, 2011 12:00 am

Come on, come on. Please, please, please. Really? Let me drive around one more time. Hey – a free meter! ‘Valet parking only daily’?

I’m too fucking hungry for this shit – guess I’ll just pay for valet. Hope they don’t steal my change. Might be paying them with that later.

Probably shouldn’t have worn jeans. I saw the way the hostess looked when she checked my name. She gave me the once-over. A quick one, but a once-over all the same. Is it so hard to believe I can afford eating he — oh my god, is that a live octopus on a plate?  Read more...

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The Most Awesome Nativity Scenes

  • December 25, 2011 10:22 pm

Nothing captures the true spirit of Christmas like a traditional Nativity scene and the folks at Buzzfeed have collected 25 of the most awesome nativity scenes. So as we say good-bye to another Christmas, check out a sampling below and see all 25 here.

 Read more...

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The Best 80′s Christmas Song That Isn’t “Do They Know It’s Christmas?”

  • December 25, 2011 4:13 am

If you existed anywhere near L.A. in the 80′s, and listented to K-ROQ any time at all in the month of December, then you know what I’m talking about.  It’s The Waitresses’ holiday masterpiece, “Christmas Wrapping:”

This isn’t just bubblegum pop: The Spice Girls covered it in 1998, and the character of Brittany sang it on an episode of “Glee” this year.

So…um…uh…yeah, maybe it is bubblegum pop, but it’s damn fine bubblegum pop.

The Waitresses, best known for another K-ROQ classic, “I Know What Boys Like,” hailed from Akron, Ohio, along with sui generis new wave oddballs Devo (must be something in the water).

 Read more...

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Add Your Own Caption: The True Meaning of Christmas Edition

  • December 24, 2011 1:39 pm

If you’re not already following us on Facebook, Twitter and our new Tumblr, you’re missing out on a lot of extras you won’t find here on our blog including updates on various Offender-related projects (like the most recent updates about our upcoming YOMYOMF Network on YouTube) and silly, fun things like “Add Your Own Caption.” This is where we post an image we find online or that our readers forward to us and ask you to write an appropriate caption to accompany that image. And we’ll feature some of the captions here.

And the “best” caption for this week comes from reader Masa Matsuura:

Santa: Thank God for ATMs. Jesus: You're welcome.

So check out our Facebook page for future editions of “Add Your Own Caption”, write your own caption and/or “like” the ones you think are worthy and we may share them here.  Read more...

1 Comment on Add Your Own Caption: The True Meaning of Christmas Edition

What I can never have again.

  • December 24, 2011 12:00 am

Tomorrow, it will be Christmas. Another Christmas under my belt. This is, undoubtedly, my favorite time of the year.

Unfortunately, I find that the glint in my eyes that the holidays elicit seems to grow dimmer and dimmer as time passes.

The story isn’t new. Growing up, you have cares in the world, but they are few and far between. Death is a concept either wholly unknown or partially foreign and your responsibilities have not grown to towering heights yet. That’s your everyday experience.

Then Christmas comes along and all that joy that comes part and parcel with that is coupled with your already freewheeling existence and it literally feels like you can float, maybe even fly.  Read more...

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Top Ten K-Pop Music Videos of 2011

  • December 23, 2011 9:19 pm

I really got into K-pop this year, thanks to the girl group 2NE1, a no nonsense, fun and crazy female quartet who can do it all — rap, R&B, dance, and from different walks of life. They became my starter drug into a burgeoning music industry and genre that is ripe for world domination. And when I mean world domination, I mean thousands of fans from around the world, thanks to open business model that wants to build a worldly fan base. Much like hallyu with the popularity of Korean TV dramas and movies, K-Pop has jumped into the limelight, with not only a Pan-Asian craze in Japan, China, Taiwan, Thailand, Vietnam and the Philippines, but also Europe and the US.

2NE1 is the perfect example. With all 4 members (CL, Minzy, Bom, and Dara) fluent in English and Korean, not to also mention conversational Japanese and Tagalog, 2NE1 has become a force to be reckon with, selling out concerts around Asia and also building a fan base in America, and winning the MTV Iggy Best Band in the World Award, where they recently performed at Times Square a couple of weeks ago. They also recorded an American album that was produced by Wil.I.Am, which is set for release sometime in 2012.

So, yeah, I got K-Pop obsessed, and soon enough, I became hooked on watching the latest music videos on Youtube, which rack tens of millions of views in a matter of days. And since I recently blogged about my upcoming top ten random lists of the year, I figured this would be a fun exercise to check out some slickly produced music videos, in which Korea is so known for. So here’s the top ten of the year:  Read more...

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Why the Death of Kim Jong Il Means More Bad News for the ‘Red Dawn’ Remake

  • December 23, 2011 5:03 pm

Regular YOMYOMF readers know that we’ve been following the saga of the upcoming remake of the 1980s film Red Dawn since the early days of our blog when Offender Roger had his own not so pleasant experience with the project.

The original film was about a group of suburban American high school kids who must single-handedly fight off a Russian military invasion. In the remake, the bad guys are were the Chinese coming to collect on the huge U.S. debt. But the film has met with numerous roadblocks and delays including a post-production race change of the bad guys from Chinese to North Korean; presumably because the producers realized it’d be a bad idea to piss off China and its potentially huge box office profits (although the producers insist the change was made because some “real smart person” told them North Korea is a more “realistic” threat to the U.S. Uh…OK?).

However, the film finally received some good news this fall when it was picked up for distribution and even given a release date for November 2012. But alas, this positivity may only be temporary with the death of North Korean leader Kim Jong Il last week.

Why is this a bad thing for the film?  Read more...

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Ho-Ho-Ho-rrible!

  • December 23, 2011 4:41 am

Christmas shopping is a tinsel covered nightmare.

The endless spots on TV would have you believe it’s just a light hearted, fun filled chance to bathe the ones you love in the warmth you’ve been building up all year.  Bullshit.  Christmas shopping is a pop quiz, a trick question, a trap designed to reveal whether you really know another person or not.  The pressure is enormous, the stakes sky high.

Here’s how Christmas shopping went for us this year.  Read more...

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Louis C.K. is the new KevJumba?

  • December 22, 2011 4:56 pm

I know, I know… Comparing Louis C.K. to KevJumba is such a weird and awkward statement, even though awkward is an understatement in C.K.’s brand of comedy. But, what he is doing with content distribution is what the likes of KevJumba and other Internet stars have been doing for awhile now — Going directly to their niche fan bases, bypassing middle men and successfully monetizing the whole process.

Louis C.K., who we absolutely love at YOMYOMF, just hit the $1 Million mark in earnings after he released his comedy special directly to his fans online for $5 a pop last week. He basically covered the costs of renting the Beacon Theater and a camera crew through ticket sales, edited and directed the comedy special himself and set up a micro-site and sold the video file via Paypal. Sites like CNN and NYT are calling this a warning sign to the studios because C.K. circumvented the distributors, and went straight to his fans. He didn’t care if they downloaded it, pirate it and share it amongst their friends. Check out this clip where he talks about making a million in only 10 days and how he gave most of it to his staff and charity.  Read more...

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