Best Xmas Gift in an Alternate Universe: Zombie Attack Barbie

I’ve been known to dismiss Barbie as a harmful symbol of everything that’s wrong about our culture and the way we market “unrealistic” images of womanhood to little girls, but even I have to admit this is pretty damn awesome!

Meet Zombie Attack Barbie (with Zombie Ken):

This would make the perfect holiday gift for that young, impressionable girl in your life. Unfortunately, there’s one, little problem…Zombie Attack Barbie doesn’t technically exist.

Dinner with Roger and Lydia

I first heard of Roger Garcia, a pioneer champion of Asian American films, when I was an intern at Visual Communications in 1988. Finally, in the last decade or so, I’ve started meeting him at various film festivals all over the world. Roger and his wife Lydia Tanji began stationing in Hong Kong after his appointment last year as the executive director of the Hong Kong International Film Festival, the largest festival player in the region. Returning to Hong Kong, I touched base with Roger who warmly invited me to dinner at a tucked away Izakaya in Wanchai, the neighborhood where I grew up as a kid. It was also my first time hanging out with Lydia though we met briefly at the Hawaii International Film Festival a couple years back.

Having stayed in Hong Kong for a few days, I was mostly catching up with friends and family and was desperately seeking some kind of inspiration for a story or a blog with little luck. On top of that, my Macbook was acting up and I had to go to the most dreaded Genius Bar that usually came up with little solution other than replacing the entire computer. Meeting Roger and Lydia definitely changed my luck as I was immediately inspired talking to them about the state of Asian American filmmaking over sake, beer and tasty skewers of meat and vegetables.

Honoring Sung Kang a.k.a. Han from ‘Tokyo Drift’

Our friends at KoreAm Magazine are honoring my fellow Offender Sung Kang (a.k.a Han from Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift) at their annual Unforgettable Gala Fundraiser this Saturday night in Los Angeles. Unfortunately, I won’t be in attendance as I will be in New York with my other fellow Offenders Justin and Elaine so I thought I could pay an early tribute to Sung and talk about why I think he deserves to be honored.

I’m currently sitting at an outdoor coffee place, in between meetings, and figure this is as good a time as any to write a few words in memory honor of Mr. Sung Kang. Let’s see…what I can I say about him…hmm…OK, let’s start by simply letting people know who Sung is:

Sung Kang is an Asian American actor.

That’s good. Start simply. Save the meaty stuff for later. Let’s see, what can I say next…Wow, not to get off-topic, but it’s really a beautiful day. It’s hard to believe it’s almost December when it’s sunny and 75 degrees out. Seems a shame that I’m sitting at a coffee shop on my computer when I should be out enjoying a day like this. But…sorry, getting off track here. I need to focus and write something awesome about Sung. So what do I have so far?

Band geeks do The Jesus and Mary Chain

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xL55MyOgBLY[/youtube]Now this is more like it. Check out this geektastic dual piano rendition of JUST LIKE HONEY by The Jesus and Mary Chain. These kids are so adorable, especially the girl, who I would’ve crushed on back in high school. Let’s hope they do more piano covers of ’80s alternative rock bands!

(Via Boing Boing)

Abandoned Yugoslavian Structures Out Of A Sci-Fi World

Over at the blog Cracked Two, there are some very cool photos of old structures that were built in former Yugoslavia in the ’60s and ’70s. Commissioned by former President Josip Broz Tito, these super structures were built at sites where great injustice took place during WWII, ranging from internment camps, to massacres, etc. Designed by various sculptors and architects, they were made to represent the great might of the Social Republic.  In the 1980s, these monuments attracted millions of visitors per year, especially young pioneers for their “patriotic education.” After the Republic dissolved in early 1990s, they were completely abandoned, and their symbolic meanings were forever lost.

The $700 Bubble Butt

In defense of Oneal Ron Morris, the transgendered Florida woman charged with practicing medicine without a license for injecting a concoction of cement, mineral oil and flat tire sealant into another woman’s butt – she did it to herself first.

And the results speak for themselves.

Given the staggering budonkadonk Morris is sporting, the real question is not, why would she inject toxic junk into other people’s trunks, but why wouldn’t she?

And she did it for only $700.  Seven hundred bucks.  You can’t buy a new washer/dryer for $700, let alone a new backside.  Yes, it’s true, to keep costs down, you may have to turn to some creative protocols like performing the surgery in your own home, and using a garden hose to pump the esteem-boosting ooze into someone’s ass, but still, for seven hundred bucks?  What do you spend on lattes in a month?

Little Dragon Tales

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVy4Vya0O_M[/youtube]Does this strike up any flashbacks to Chinese school for any of you ABCs out there? Either way, this nostalgic take is a collaboration between The Shanghai Restoration Project and Yip’s Children’s Choir, bringing Chinese electronica music to the masses. Entitled Little Dragon Tales, the CD of electronically enhanced Chinese children songs is being released today on iTunes and Amazon. Great stocking stuffers!!

Around the Horn: Should I Occupy?

I was asked the other week to join the Occupy Veterans protest down on Wilshire blvd in Westwood. The cause they were fighting for were concerns such as homelessness and unemployment within the Veterans community. Slightly different than the normal Occupy Wall Street concerns but still the same. The notice also said to be prepared to camp for more than a week’s time and to be arrested. I guess being arrested would solve the homelessness problem but that’s beside the point. But because I’m a veteran, was I suppose to oblige and bring my tent? Are people in general suppose to band together and join the demonstrations too? With the start of Occupy Wall Street back in September as a peaceful demonstration to what happened now at UC Davis with the police pepper spraying students for no reason, are all these protests and demonstrations truly doing anything? Or are we witnessing the start of something?

An expert (my stoner friend) was explaining to me his theory about the pendulum swing. He explains the last time we’ve had these kinds of demonstrations and people expressing the unfairness was back in the 60’s. And back then, the protests became so big and effective enough, there was change and progress. But it was only a quick fix to alleviate the chaos and over time things swung back to be more conservative and then finally more authoritarian. So are these demonstrations starting with Occupy Wall Street powerful enough to be effective? I haven’t heard Obama or anyone from the government acknowledge any of these movements. Do people like you and me even feel like its worth taking part of any demonstrations especially since the law enforcement are more likely to take shooting practice with their rubber bullets and pepper spray? Or should we be out there, arms locked, and fighting against social and economic inequality?

TURN ME ONLINE: The matter of misleading profile pictures.

As technology improves and evolves, we get more and more things we find we can never live without. Bathrooms. Motor carriages. Computers.

And though we are in the nascent period of our dependency on it, it’s still nonetheless easy to add one more thing to our list: online dating.

But like all those other wondrous advancements, along with it comes its own set of pitfalls, born of its unique place and purpose.

One such problem? The unfortunate fact that most photos are two-dimensional and some people – well, some people just look better staying that way. This leads to some optical illusions, so to speak, ones that may mislead your pants.

All Dogs Come From Asia

Up until now, scientists had believed that the first domesticated dogs originated in the Middle East between 9,000-30,000 years ago. But in another instance of I-guess-scientists-really-don’t-know-anything-so-I’m-going-to-continue-believing-that-pizza-is-a-vegetable-and-the-pinnacle-of-healthy-nutritiousness, a Swedish scientist has found strong, if not conclusive, proof that the ancestors of all currently domesticated dogs actually came from a region of China just south of the Yangtze River.

How did these Swedish eggheads figure this out? I have no idea ‘cause the article explaining this is really boooooorrrring, but you can read for yourself here.

The more pertinent question is—why am I blogging about this? Is it to counter the stereotype that Asians eat dogs by showing that, no, we loved them enough to make them our best friend? No, frankly I don’t give a fuck about that. Is it to demonstrate that I love dogs and therefore all animals, which I know is a turn-on for some women? Not really, but if you’re a hot chick who gets turned on by a sensitive man who has a soft spot for our canine friends or someone who can fake that sensitivity really well if it means getting laid, please email me your phone number. But, nope, the real reason I’m blogging about this is so I can do one thing and one thing only…

SAF Seeking… No ‘Piss-takes’!

I'm not naughty, I'm a proper girl!

Here it is, Thanksgiving weekend! I’m going to impress my man’s family! Oh yes I am! I am armed with my best green beans recipe and the secret to a Brown Betty crust that is to-die-for! I will be humorous and gracious! I will not talk about sex or politics or religion! I’m dressed in my Thanksgiving best! (Argle sweater with dark jeans: tasteful and casual, check!) I’m driving down the I-5 freeway from San Francisco to Los Angeles singing the Dixie Chicks “Landslide”at full volume! 5 1/2 hours til first impression made!

It’s dark. I like to drive long distances at night cuz I can hit 85 mph without fear of the dreaded CA Highway Patrol. (It’s when you hit 90 mph they become suspicious!)