You are currently browsing the archives for October 2011.

It’s Official: The YOMYOMF Network is Coming to YouTube!

  • October 31, 2011 12:06 am

When we founded this blog in 2009, one of our dreams was that one day we’d be able to create a space where our community of artists and friends could come together, collaborate and work on projects that inspired and excited us. That dream moved one step closer to reality this past Friday when YouTube announced their new original channels initiative (read all about it here). And we’re happy to report that YOMYOMF will be a part of this unprecedented launch.

The YOMYOMF Network will be more than just an “Asian American” channel—we’re going to bring you programming that’ll embrace our trademark YOMYOMF sensibility. So check out our press release below where you’ll learn more about some of what’s to come and keep reading our blog (and our Facebook and Twitter as well) because we’ll be sharing all the exclusive updates about our channel right here first.

But for now, we’re very honored and excited about this opportunity and we’ll do our best to create interesting and entertaining content. Finally, we’d like to extend a special thanks to all our readers. We wouldn’t have been able to do this without your continued support. It’s going to be quite a ride and we hope you’ll come along with us! 

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BEWARE: every woman looks better with oversized sunglasses.

  • October 31, 2011 12:00 am

It’s the danger hidden in plain sight, whenever a straight man goes out on the hunt. He may be out for a run at the park or walking the streets of Los Angeles after lunch – wherever he may be, he is almost guaranteed to encounter it. The real question is: will he be prepared?

Will you?

Yes, it’s the hot woman with the big-ass sunglasses. You might see her across the way on the other side of the street or you might brush right past her as she walks in the opposite direction and you do your double take. Whether near or far,  you cannot help but notice her because her sunglasses are AS BIG AS HER FACE.

And somehow, regardless of your tastes, your baser instincts will say that she is – without qualification – totally friggin’ HOT.

But beware! More often than not, IT’S A TRAP.  Read more...

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Why Japan is Awesome #182: Is That an Alien in my Drink?

  • October 30, 2011 10:30 pm

Japanese company Kotobukiya is known for its geeky novelty items which, depending on your tastes, makes them completely awesome or whatever the absolute opposite of awesome is. If you stand on the awesome end of the spectrum, you’ll most likely jizz react with enthusiasm at their latest offering—ice cube trays based on the alien from the Alien film franchise (which you can purchase here for under $10):

This means you can now ingest an ice cube that looks like the alien egg and wait patiently with the hope that the ice cube egg will undergo a transformation while inside your gut and an ice alien baby will soon come bursting out of your stomach. Yeah…I mean what else are you going to do on a Saturday night anyway?  Read more...

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Economic Win-Win Proposal

  • October 30, 2011 10:32 am

In this season of economic plans and proposals, I have one of my own that I think would be a win-win for the countries of both the United States and China. Want to hear it? Here it goes.

First, the facts (or, at least, estimated facts). Number one: according to reports, the U.S. debt to China is roughly $1.6 trillion at last count. Number two: according to estimates and reports, the U.S. movie industry loses approximately $1.2 billion to piracy of their products in China. Sure, the government there says that they’re actively “destroying” pirated DVDs, but, come on now, who are we really kidding?  Read more...

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SAF Seeking… Hot Roommates and PMS thoughts

  • October 30, 2011 12:49 am

It started off with a giggle. In the background. And then a cry of “Stop it!” while faint laughter leaked through my iPhone’s speakers. My man chuckled a little on his end of the line.

“What’s that?” I try to throw the words off nonchalantly.

You see, I’m trying hard to not appear ‘crazy’. ‘Crazy’ is the worst thing a girl can be! “That girl’s a bitch” is a compliment in comparison to “That girl is CRAZY.” It’s like code for “you can sleep with her but don’t try to talk to her,” “definitely stalker material,” “she’s desperate, lonely, low self-esteemed, and erratic… yeah, I slept with her but that’s it. Cuz she’s craaaaazy.”  Read more...

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Add Your Own Caption: It’s Almost Halloween Edition

  • October 29, 2011 8:10 pm

If you’re not already following us on Facebook and Twitter, you’re missing out on a lot of extras you won’t find here on our blog including updates on various Offender-related projects (including the most recent updates on our just announced YOMYOMF Network on YouTube) and silly, fun things like “Add Your Own Caption.” This is where we post an image we find online or that our readers forward to us and ask you to write an appropriate caption to accompany that image. And we’ll feature the best captions here.

The “best” caption for this week comes from reader Crystal Serrata:

Meet your new baby brother

So check out our Facebook page for future editions of “Add Your Own Caption”: write your own caption and/or “like” the ones you think are worthy and we may share them here.  Read more...

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Speaking Chinglish

  • October 29, 2011 12:49 pm

Let’s face it… I’m not a New Yorker. When I got off the plane, I was already trembling on the Air Train. How would I get to my friend’s place in Chelsea? Well, somehow with the directions from my iPhone I got there. I have rarely had a good experience with New York since college. I got into a fight or broke up with almost every one of my boyfriends there. But I came again because I really needed to see David Henry Hwang’s new play, Chinglish. And my mission for the day was to pick up the opening tickets at the Longacre Theater and go to a hip-hop class. With courage, I did both.

Timely, smart and totally hilarious, Chinglish rewrote New York for me, just like it will rewrite the relationship between China and America and inform and entertain those who have inklings of doing anything in China. Very much like his own smash hit M Butterfly, it’s a comedic critique of the dysfunctional relationship between the East and West. In M Butterfly, it’s sexuality and gender roles. In Chinglish, it’s aptly language and translation.  Read more...

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My parents did what?!

  • October 29, 2011 12:30 am

Most people talk about their loss of innocence. I talk about my loss of innocence about my parents’ loss of innocence and why I have to be privy to that knowledge.

Yes, folks – I grew up in a world and I lived a life where my parents didn’t have sex until they decided to conceive me. In fact, they didn’t even know what sex was until the moment the idea to have me struck them, at which point the Sex Fairy imbued them both with the knowledge of how to do it. Also, the moment they had me, they totally forgot what sex was.

Because that’s just how the Sex Fairy works.  Read more...

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Glass Harmonica – spooky…

  • October 28, 2011 11:16 am

With Halloween only just a few days away, spooky is yet again, here to play.

I have never seen nor heard a glass harmonica before.  But when I did, a sense of spooky-cool made me shivers galore.

So may all of you enjoy this annual time of boo.  And if a succubus pays a visit, you’re guaranteed no balls of blue.

Muuuuuuuaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

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The Horror! The Horror!

  • October 28, 2011 4:15 am

Andy Warhol defined art as “what you can get away with.”  By that definition, petty theft, adultery and singing Justin Bieber songs in the shower are all forms of art.

But what about the kitsch for sale in the pages of The Globe magazine?

Naturally I sneer, but in 100 years, will some other blowhard look at the Miro reproduction hanging in my living room and declare me tacky?  Am I just hopelessly predictable in my programmed, bourgoise taste, or do I actually like that Miro?

…I don’t know anymore…I just don’t know…

So for now…. I’ll just make fun of stuff.

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An Open Letter to China on its Crackdown on “Overly Entertaining” TV Programming

  • October 28, 2011 12:01 am

Dear China:

Your government’s State Administration of Radio, Film and Television recently ordered your country’s 34 satellite TV stations to “dramatically” cut back on programs that are “vulgar” or “overly entertaining.” You further said that “Satellite channels are mainly for the broadcast of news propaganda and should expand the proportion of news, economic, cultural, science and education, children’s, and documentary programming.” So no American Idol for you, China.

I know this news is sending chills down the spines of those who were looking forward to more “entertainment”-related programming and still others are accusing you of government censorship. But I’m not here to criticize or critique your mandate. You’ve made your decision and I respect that. No, I’m here to talk to you about an even thornier issue—how are you going to enforce this edict? After all, there’s always the chance that some show that has entertainment value could slip through the cracks and you’ll find yourself with egg on your face.

Luckily, I have the solution for you. If you want to guarantee that your TV programs won’t be entertaining on any level, all you need to do is hire Asian Americans.  Read more...

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Chewbacca dog

  • October 27, 2011 2:28 pm

Hand’s down, this dog should win the K-9 Halloween costume contest. I wonder if its master is in Han Solo regalia? Too awesome!!!

(Via Danny Do)

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On the Business…of Business

  • October 27, 2011 1:18 pm

As this NBA lockout drags on (when will it ever end?!), a ridiculous number of comments/posts/articles remind me of a misuse of terminology I see continually perpetuated in conversations revolving around both the business of basketball as well as the business of film. It’s a misuse or misunderstanding of common business-related terms, something most business students learn in Business Administration 1A (or whatever class number is assigned to the “Introduction to Business” course at the college level). Here it goes:

The terms “revenue” and “profit” are NOT interchangeable.

I repeat: the terms “revenue” and “profit” are NOT interchangeable.

In this latest NBA lockout conversation, a number of complaints have arisen (mostly from the players’ side, understandably) about how the NBA has seen a “growth in revenue” in the last few years and how this should be justification that players need not sacrifice anything even given the current state of the economy.  Read more...

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FLOUNDERING FILM FLUNKEE fixates over the hot extra!

  • October 27, 2011 1:19 am

You’re watching some random movie in your Netflix queue when you discover that one of the main actors/actresses is super bangin’. Most people just get aroused and let it be.

 

I’m not most people. As a film fanatic and professional pervert, I promptly head to my computer to look the movie up on IMDb.

There, I can find the character name, then the person who played them before proceeding to Google their name for any naked pictures of them. Then, well, I go to my happy place. It has lot of rainbows — OF SEMEN. I should probably get that checked.  Read more...

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More Japanese Robot Awesomeness: A Bicycle Riding Robot

  • October 27, 2011 12:56 am

The title of the following video pretty much says it all: The biped robot which rides on a bicycle.

This creation comes courtesy of one Dr. Guero who took a standard biped robot, the Kondo KHR3HV biped, and created a customized bike and software program to give us this:

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First Halloween

  • October 26, 2011 12:05 am

I started trick-or-treating at 6 when no one was celebrating Halloween in Hong Kong. No one in Hong Kong really quite knew what Halloween was at that time. I accidentally stumbled upon some make-up kits and greeting cards with a smiling Jack-o’lantern that year in an American store and I asked my mom about Halloween. My mom explained the whole American tradition of trick-or-treating to me and I thought it was a brilliant idea. On my first Halloween night, I put on a pair of fangs, glued some cotton to my face as decaying flesh and put on two bug eyes with plastic tape… I was trying to be a vampire of some sort.

I knocked on the doors of different neighbors in my apartment building on different floors and very few answered. Even if they did, they were totally puzzled at “Trick or treat.” My mom told me to hit up this kid whom I used to play with when I was two, and so I did. His mom opened the door and I said, “Trick or treat.”  Read more...

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Let’s Put the ‘Trick’ Back in ‘Trick-or-Treat’

  • October 26, 2011 12:01 am

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again—Halloween is awesome! And if you’re a child, it’s an especially magical holiday. The only way there could be a more magical day is if someone invented a holiday where a jolly man comes to your house and leaves you presents while you’re sleeping, but come on, we all know that’s just a pipe dream. Anyway, one of the reasons Halloween is so magical for kids is because you get to trick-or-treat. 

Unfortunately, trick-or-treating isn’t what it used to be and I think that’s sad and tragic. Sadly tragic even. It’s bad enough that in many communities, trick-or-treating doesn’t even happen anymore ‘cause it’s no longer safe for a child to go out alone at night in a mask and demand candy from strangers. But I think we’ve also collectively forgotten the true meaning of “trick-or-treating.” Sure, we have no problem with the “treat” part—the giving and receiving of candies–but we’ve forgotten all about the “trick” and we need to bring that back.

When it comes to trick-or-treating, we’ve become mindless zombies and not in the cool Return of the Living Dead zombies kind of way, but rather more like the lame Return of the Living Dead 5: Rave to the Grave zombies. When we walk up to that house, ring that doorbell and blurt out “trick-or-treat,” are we even thinking about anything besides the mouth-watering sweets we’re about to get? Are we even thinking about the “tricks” anymore?  Read more...

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The ‘Chinglish’ Broadway Journal: Week 6 (Oct. 25, 2011)

  • October 25, 2011 1:15 pm

David Henry Hwang continues his weekly report from rehearsals previews of the Broadway premiere of his new play CHINGLISH, which officially opens this Thursday.

DHH in front of the theater (photo by Lia Chang)

This is the part of the process I like least.

We froze the show — no more changes — last Friday. The new ending worked, so that’s the final text. Over this past weekend, critics started arriving. Thursday, October 27, is our opening night and, as those of you who followed the Chicago blogs may remember, reviews will start appearing online that same evening. In the meantime, there’s nothing to do but wait.

At the end of our final rehearsal last Friday, I told the actors that this is how I imagine I’ll feel when my kids go off to college. It’s time to let the child go out into the world, and make its own way. When an actor is the first to do a new part, he or she is said to have “originated” that role. In some cases, the CHINGLISH actors literally suggested line changes which got incorporated into the script. But simply by virtue of having embodied these characters, each one of them influenced how I continued to rewrite and develop this play, which, if we’re lucky, will have a future life and become part of American theatrical literature.  Read more...

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Own Your Vanity

  • October 25, 2011 4:34 am

I saw this vanity license plate the other day:

EVRI1 “heart” ME

couldn't find the exact one I saw, but you get the idea

I don’t know why “EVRI1 ‘heart’ ME” got on my nerves so much (actually, I do).  But before I get to that, let’s first check out some other vanity plates.

There must’ve been a serious run on this one in 2007.  Here’s the guy who got their first.

…and here’s the guy who get there eighteenth…

….this next one gets straight to the point.  But it does put enormous pressure on the driver.

 Read more...

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No Racist Asian Halloween Costumes…Unless You’re Hot & Slutty

  • October 25, 2011 12:01 am

Like many of you reading this, I have problems with white/non-Asian people dressing up in “chinky” and culturally insensitive Halloween costumes. That’s why I was happy to see that a student group at Ohio University called the Students Teaching About Racism in Society have launched a poster campaign to bring attention to this issue with images like this:

And these (see all of them here):

Like I said, this is great and I support this effort fully, but I believe an exception should be made for hot white chicks wearing slutty Asian costumes.

Why should these individuals be exempt? Well, I can make a detailed and persuasive argument that would be so convincing that you would realize that I am right, but, in this case, perhaps a visual argument would work just as well:  Read more...

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