It’s Official: The YOMYOMF Network is Coming to YouTube!

When we founded this blog in 2009, one of our dreams was that one day we’d be able to create a space where our community of artists and friends could come together, collaborate and work on projects that inspired and excited us. That dream moved one step closer to reality this past Friday when YouTube announced their new original channels initiative (read all about it here). And we’re happy to report that YOMYOMF will be a part of this unprecedented launch.

The YOMYOMF Network will be more than just an “Asian American” channel—we’re going to bring you programming that’ll embrace our trademark YOMYOMF sensibility. So check out our press release below where you’ll learn more about some of what’s to come and keep reading our blog (and our Facebook and Twitter as well) because we’ll be sharing all the exclusive updates about our channel right here first.

But for now, we’re very honored and excited about this opportunity and we’ll do our best to create interesting and entertaining content. Finally, we’d like to extend a special thanks to all our readers. We wouldn’t have been able to do this without your continued support. It’s going to be quite a ride and we hope you’ll come along with us! 

BEWARE: every woman looks better with oversized sunglasses.

It’s the danger hidden in plain sight, whenever a straight man goes out on the hunt. He may be out for a run at the park or walking the streets of Los Angeles after lunch – wherever he may be, he is almost guaranteed to encounter it. The real question is: will he be prepared?

Will you?

Yes, it’s the hot woman with the big-ass sunglasses. You might see her across the way on the other side of the street or you might brush right past her as she walks in the opposite direction and you do your double take. Whether near or far,  you cannot help but notice her because her sunglasses are AS BIG AS HER FACE.

And somehow, regardless of your tastes, your baser instincts will say that she is – without qualification – totally friggin’ HOT.

But beware! More often than not, IT’S A TRAP.

Why Japan is Awesome #182: Is That an Alien in my Drink?

Japanese company Kotobukiya is known for its geeky novelty items which, depending on your tastes, makes them completely awesome or whatever the absolute opposite of awesome is. If you stand on the awesome end of the spectrum, you’ll most likely jizz react with enthusiasm at their latest offering—ice cube trays based on the alien from the Alien film franchise (which you can purchase here for under $10):

This means you can now ingest an ice cube that looks like the alien egg and wait patiently with the hope that the ice cube egg will undergo a transformation while inside your gut and an ice alien baby will soon come bursting out of your stomach. Yeah…I mean what else are you going to do on a Saturday night anyway?

Economic Win-Win Proposal

In this season of economic plans and proposals, I have one of my own that I think would be a win-win for the countries of both the United States and China. Want to hear it? Here it goes.

First, the facts (or, at least, estimated facts). Number one: according to reports, the U.S. debt to China is roughly $1.6 trillion at last count. Number two: according to estimates and reports, the U.S. movie industry loses approximately $1.2 billion to piracy of their products in China. Sure, the government there says that they’re actively “destroying” pirated DVDs, but, come on now, who are we really kidding?

SAF Seeking… Hot Roommates and PMS thoughts

It started off with a giggle. In the background. And then a cry of “Stop it!” while faint laughter leaked through my iPhone’s speakers. My man chuckled a little on his end of the line.

“What’s that?” I try to throw the words off nonchalantly.

You see, I’m trying hard to not appear ‘crazy’. ‘Crazy’ is the worst thing a girl can be! “That girl’s a bitch” is a compliment in comparison to “That girl is CRAZY.” It’s like code for “you can sleep with her but don’t try to talk to her,” “definitely stalker material,” “she’s desperate, lonely, low self-esteemed, and erratic… yeah, I slept with her but that’s it. Cuz she’s craaaaazy.”

Add Your Own Caption: It’s Almost Halloween Edition

If you’re not already following us on Facebook and Twitter, you’re missing out on a lot of extras you won’t find here on our blog including updates on various Offender-related projects (including the most recent updates on our just announced YOMYOMF Network on YouTube) and silly, fun things like “Add Your Own Caption.” This is where we post an image we find online or that our readers forward to us and ask you to write an appropriate caption to accompany that image. And we’ll feature the best captions here.

The “best” caption for this week comes from reader Crystal Serrata:

Meet your new baby brother

So check out our Facebook page for future editions of “Add Your Own Caption”: write your own caption and/or “like” the ones you think are worthy and we may share them here.

Speaking Chinglish

Let’s face it… I’m not a New Yorker. When I got off the plane, I was already trembling on the Air Train. How would I get to my friend’s place in Chelsea? Well, somehow with the directions from my iPhone I got there. I have rarely had a good experience with New York since college. I got into a fight or broke up with almost every one of my boyfriends there. But I came again because I really needed to see David Henry Hwang’s new play, Chinglish. And my mission for the day was to pick up the opening tickets at the Longacre Theater and go to a hip-hop class. With courage, I did both.

Timely, smart and totally hilarious, Chinglish rewrote New York for me, just like it will rewrite the relationship between China and America and inform and entertain those who have inklings of doing anything in China. Very much like his own smash hit M Butterfly, it’s a comedic critique of the dysfunctional relationship between the East and West. In M Butterfly, it’s sexuality and gender roles. In Chinglish, it’s aptly language and translation.

My parents did what?!

Most people talk about their loss of innocence. I talk about my loss of innocence about my parents’ loss of innocence and why I have to be privy to that knowledge.

Yes, folks – I grew up in a world and I lived a life where my parents didn’t have sex until they decided to conceive me. In fact, they didn’t even know what sex was until the moment the idea to have me struck them, at which point the Sex Fairy imbued them both with the knowledge of how to do it. Also, the moment they had me, they totally forgot what sex was.

Because that’s just how the Sex Fairy works.

Glass Harmonica – spooky…

With Halloween only just a few days away, spooky is yet again, here to play.

I have never seen nor heard a glass harmonica before.  But when I did, a sense of spooky-cool made me shivers galore.

So may all of you enjoy this annual time of boo.  And if a succubus pays a visit, you’re guaranteed no balls of blue.

Muuuuuuuaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

The Horror! The Horror!

Andy Warhol defined art as “what you can get away with.”  By that definition, petty theft, adultery and singing Justin Bieber songs in the shower are all forms of art.

But what about the kitsch for sale in the pages of The Globe magazine?

Naturally I sneer, but in 100 years, will some other blowhard look at the Miro reproduction hanging in my living room and declare me tacky?  Am I just hopelessly predictable in my programmed, bourgoise taste, or do I actually like that Miro?

…I don’t know anymore…I just don’t know…

So for now…. I’ll just make fun of stuff.

An Open Letter to China on its Crackdown on “Overly Entertaining” TV Programming

Dear China:

Your government’s State Administration of Radio, Film and Television recently ordered your country’s 34 satellite TV stations to “dramatically” cut back on programs that are “vulgar” or “overly entertaining.” You further said that “Satellite channels are mainly for the broadcast of news propaganda and should expand the proportion of news, economic, cultural, science and education, children’s, and documentary programming.” So no American Idol for you, China.

I know this news is sending chills down the spines of those who were looking forward to more “entertainment”-related programming and still others are accusing you of government censorship. But I’m not here to criticize or critique your mandate. You’ve made your decision and I respect that. No, I’m here to talk to you about an even thornier issue—how are you going to enforce this edict? After all, there’s always the chance that some show that has entertainment value could slip through the cracks and you’ll find yourself with egg on your face.

Luckily, I have the solution for you. If you want to guarantee that your TV programs won’t be entertaining on any level, all you need to do is hire Asian Americans.