YOMYOMF HAIKU CORNER: The week of July 31, 2011.

You want to know where I got this idea?  From my brain.  Because my brain was thinking there isn’t nearly enough poetry here on YOMYOMF, let alone haikus.  So I’ve decided to write up a set of haikus each week, followed by commentary about each.

Sometimes, there’s a theme.  Sometimes, there isn’t.  Just like life.

Have you ever noticed how you can cap off pretty much any statement not directly related to the concept of living with “Just like life” and come off that much more classy for it?

It’s amazing.  And it doesn’t even necessarily have to make sense.

Just like life.

Dumb, little fly – why
Do you torment me like so
How did you get in?

Japanese Girl Explains the Movies For You

Mika is a Japanese girl. She likes to explain the plots to some of Hollywood’s biggest movies in a way that’s completely understandable (in case you were confused by what happened in Titanic or Spiderman) and…well, unique. So check them out and have a great weekend.

TITANIC:

A little sign for your weekend

I was inspired by Emmie’s post yesterday. I took this photo, while going between cinemas at the recent Puchon International Fantastic Film Festival. But this one, is not photo-shopped. In true Korean fashion, this staircase is reserved for sexy people only, I suppose.

I like how the sexy woman is not even using the stairs. She’s just posing! Have a good weekend, everyone.

How Much Is That Doggy In The Window (actually worth)?

“Americans spent $11 billion to keep their beloved animals healthy last year,” according to the headline of a recent Oakland Tribune story, “but how much is too much?”

Good question.  I’ve asked it myself.

I first asked it when I took Ozzy to the vet (yes, my son named him after the Godfather of Metal, and no, we don’t know what he is besides a good chunk of Golden Retriever plus “x” factor, our best guess being Corgi or dachshund).

He was about a year old, and on his beloved afternoon walk one day, he suddenly became lethargic, stopped on the sidewalk, and refused to take another step.  I gave him a gentle tug on the leash, but he wouldn’t move.

Eggheads Throw Cold Water on the Dreams of Geeks Everywhere

Any of you living with the hope that you will one day be able to travel back in time to high school to beat up the bully who picked on you and date the prom queen or that aliens will touch down in your backyard and beg you to save their home world with your awesome video game skills can now all die a little spiritual death. Because according to two recently released reports from scientist eggheads, the existence of both time travel and extraterrestrial life are highly improbable, if not downright impossible.

Let’s first look at the possibility of life on other planets. In the past, the Drake Equation has been used by scientists to estimate that there may be as many as 10,000 advanced civilizations in our galaxy attempting to contact us at any given time. The basic reasoning for this says that since the fundamental laws that govern our planet also govern the entire universe, what applies here must apply elsewhere. So if the conditions existed to spawn intelligent life on earth, the same must be true everywhere else.

Thai’s out drama Korean dramas

Thai got your heartstrings now. KDrama no more!

Finally, a nation has “out drama’d” Korean dramas.  Credit the Thai’s for this magnanimous feat.  Though the themes are similar (every possible human tragedy possible being experienced simultaneously), the Thai’s manage to do it in 3 minutes AND with an insurance commercial.  Prepare to cry.  Hide the women and children…

(Thanks EDM for the original posting of this)

OK, if that didn’t F-up your tear ducts enough, here’s another one for good measure. It’s a Pantene commercial. And this time, it’s about a deaf/mute, Thai girl who wishes to learn the violin. Drink lots of water cause this one could fatally dehydrate you through bawling excess. Let it out, let it all out…

I Covered My Wall With Pokémon Cards.

Some of you probably read my blogs and think, “There’s no way this guy is that socially inept or weird or geeky.”  And while my lawyer won’t permit me to show any photographs of the bodies for legal reasons, she is allowing me to post a different bit of proof here instead.

Yes, those are Pokémon cards and yes, I made a wall out of them.

I’d tell you that it was out of pure love for the franchise that I did this, but part of it was that I have OCD and once the idea entered my brain, acting the desire out was the only way to purge it from my system.

How did I have enough cards to carry this out?  Well, truthfully, I had more than enough.  I have more than enough to cover that wall thrice over and then do your house too.

This is because, unsurprisingly, I was pretty obsessed with the Pokémon trading card game.

I spent an embarrassing amount of money on those cards (and other Pokémon merch, of course), more than I’d care to admit even to myself.  I still remember being coaxed into selling them when they were still worth a pretty penny.

Did you know one of those cards – a First Edition Charizard from the Basic Set – used to be worth $120?

How to Pitch a No-Hitter on Acid

I was walking at 3am recently and came face to face with a creature. The Silhouette of something fierce. Nightmarish. And perhaps deadly. It stared at me like it was studying how it was going to tear me apart. What the hell was this thing? A dog. A rat. A cat. A hairy baby?

After our tender moment passed — that is, after I failed to conclude whether I should run, reach for a rock, scream for help — the thing started running. The opposite direction! It staggered like a football with four little legs. And I ran after it. It was fat. It was slow. It was a possum!

Possums. Wow. What do they have to protect themselves with? They don’t bite. They have no speed. They’re not cute (necessarily). Why have they survived so long? A rat has diseases and isn’t scared of shit. A cat can claw your face into proscuito. A dog kisses your ass into submission.

The lesson here is that, had the possum not moved, I might have decide to walk another direction. Had it charged at me and made shrieking noises, I might run away from it. Possums have size. Hollow eyes. They have the bat thing going. If I were their PR guy, I would coach them into using reverse-intimidation tactics.

Filipino Grandma reads GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP

This is, by far, the funniest shit I’ve seen all year. Poor Lola, who doesn’t realize what she is reading to her young wide-eyed grandchild, who’s name is Carrington, until it’s just too late. This is comedy gold! [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MkOieIdhY0&feature=player_embedded[/youtube] “Oooh, dis not a good book! Oh, Cah-ring-tan, why you gib dis book to daddy?” But, Lola is a real trooper and sticks it through. In the end, you can tell she is offended, but at the same time, tickled by all the f-bombs she just dropped in front of her grand kid. Good times!

(Via AngryAsianMan)

The Dark Knight Rises – Taiwanese Flavah

My fellow Offenders David and Jerome recently posted about their adventures at Comic Con (see here and here) so I figure I’ll jump on the geektastic bandwagon and post something appropriate. And what could be more geektastic than the trailer for next summer’s highly anticipated The Dark Knight Rises.

But you’ve already seen the teaser trailer, you say? OK, sure, but have you seen the version of the trailer from our old friends at Taiwan’s Next Media Animation? ‘Cause let’s just say it reveals a good deal more of the plot and not only does the film speak to the issues of the day (the economic downturn hits Bruce Wayne/Batman hard), but it’s also quite…weird–in the way that only the wacky folks at NMA can be. So check it out and have a Happy Hump Day:

A Good Man

I barely had time to begin digesting the details of the story of Anders Behring Breivik, Norway’s own better looking Timothy McVeigh, who slaughtered 92 people last week, when I turn on my computer to find another headline about someone killing his estranged wife and four others at a Texas roller rink, a story overshadowed, of course, by Amy Winehouse joining Janis, Jimi, and Kurt in the “27 Club,” and then there was something in the corner of my screen about an 8 year old boy being hung from the ceiling.

It’s enough to make anyone despair.

And then – and then – there’s the case of Rais Bhuiyan.