You are currently browsing the archives for February 2011.

No Love for Asians at the Oscars? So What?

  • February 28, 2011 12:34 am

Firstly, I should point out that contrary to what some might think, there were Asian nominees at this year’s Oscars: Cinematographer Matthew Libatique, composer A.R. Rahman, actor Hailee Steinfeld (who’s part Filipina), illustrator Shaun Tan (who won) and documentarian Ruby Yang. My hats off to all of them!

OK, now for the real issue at hand:

Yeah, I get it that the Oscars were pretty white-washed and there was no diversity and that sucks, blah, blah, blah. And my reaction to that is—so fucking what? Come on, this isn’t exactly breaking news, but more importantly, focusing on the Academy Awards as a target of our ire–while symbolic in many ways–doesn’t really do us any good. Why? Because the Oscars are largely reactionary and it’s always more effective to go directly to the problem rather than the reaction to the problem.  Read more...

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SAF Seeking… International Playboy

  • February 28, 2011 12:09 am


“DO YOU WANT TO HAVE ME TONIGHT?”

It was written on one of those bag/wrapper, the kind they give you to at Starbucks when you order a scone. I was confused. Was he trying to give me an extra vanilla petit scone? Or maybe the leftovers of a bran muffin?

I opened the bag/wrapper and only found a wad of used napkin. Then it dawned on me…. “Do you want to have ME tonight?” I looked up in astonishment at the guy sitting 2 chairs away from me at the laptop table bar). He was wearing a smirk.  Read more...

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How to cook bacon, the RIGHT WAY

  • February 27, 2011 7:51 pm

I love bacon. But, when I try to cook it, it’s always a big fail. It’s either too soggy or other times, it’s too cripsy and burnt. Well, thanks to the fine people at Chow, here’s an instructional video on how to cook bacon the right way.

Now, it’s time for me to cook some bacon.

(Via boingboing)

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The Best Picture on the Internet

  • February 27, 2011 7:35 pm

This is from thebestpictureontheinternet. ‘Nuff said.

3 Comments on The Best Picture on the Internet

What I Learned on YOMYOMF This Week – February 19 – 25, 2011

  • February 26, 2011 12:00 am

What I Learned on YOMYOMF This Week is a capsule of the week’s blogs with sarcastic commentary from Yours Truly (that’s me!).  If you’ve been busy and missed out on a couple of our daily gems, this is a perfect way to catch up.

But seriously – what was more important than reading YOMYOMF?

This week, your favorite online family focuses their energies on love dolls (a lot!); Japanese tiger takedown tactics (alliteration!); and the correlation between animal cuteness and animal taste (I wrote that one!).  How’s that for Variety?

No, I mean seriously – would they link to us?  Have they already?  Okay, I understand we shouldn’t carry on conversations in the middle of a piece but I really need to know.

Sorry, folks – here’s your article!

FOOD+MOVIES=AN ONLINE ORGASM:

“There’s probably nothing we love here at YOMYOMF more than food and movies (well, aside from my thing for hot Vulcans) so the new tumblr site entitled “Snack to the Future” is the perfect internet destination for those like me who’ve wondered what the foodie version of our popular films would be.”

We create the world of the soup.  We bring the subject into that soup and they fill it with their ingredients.

I think I could recite the lines of Insouption off the top of my head too.

SAF SEEKING… THAT.:

“Even Virgin America, the airline for club hoppers and Jersey Shore enthusiasts and who hire the hottest flight crew I’ve ever had the opportunity to spill my tonic water on, couldn’t cheer me up.”

GOD DAMN IT – why did I go with Sky Blue?  Someone needs to tell me these things!  Read more...

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Hope, Hollywood and Smoke Signals

  • February 25, 2011 4:15 am

Film critic Pauline Kael famously wrote that “Hollywood is the one place in the world where you can die of encouragement.”  She’s right.   The town blows more smoke up more asses than a flaming BP rig.

But we who work in the business clutch at that smoke, count on it, inhale it as deeply into our lungs as we can, just to keep us going, even as we choke on it.

In this racket, hope is a very fragile, very thin high wire, and it is razor sharp.

 Read more...

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Real-Life Blow-Up Doll is Korea’s Latest Celebrity

  • February 25, 2011 12:01 am

I think I owe a bit of an apology to my Japanese friends because it appears that they’re not the only Asians with bizarre sexual…uh, interests. This latest news comes out of South Korea where one of the biggest internet “celebrities” is female Chinese high school student Wang Jiayun. And what is it that’s made her so famous? Well, she looks like a blow-up sex doll.

That’s right—she’s famous simply because she resembles a blow-up doll. Her photos have become so popular that last week, her name reached the top ranking on Korean search portals:

 Read more...

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CONFESSIONAL: Every time I look at an animal, I wonder what it tastes like.

  • February 24, 2011 10:19 am

There’s a very good reason why I don’t like going to zoos.  No matter what I’ve eaten beforehand, no matter how much I had to eat and how soon before I had it – I always get extremely hungry.

Now look here: I love animals as much as the next person.  In fact, I have a respect for them that borders on fearful compliance.  Just ask my cousin who owns one of those big dogs that always jumps on you.

The fact of the matter is anytime I see an animal, whether it’s a gazelle on Nat Geo or a pug walking down Venice, I can’t help but think about what kind of taste sensation it would be in my mouth.  I’m not the most worldly person when it comes to cuisine, so maybe this curiosity stems from a need to compensate.  Read more...

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How to Take Down a Siberian Tiger – Japanese Style!

  • February 24, 2011 12:02 am

Shuhei Yamaguchi has what may be the coolest job ever or possibly the worst job—I’m not quite sure which. You see, the Tokyo Zoo conducts an unusual training exercise designed to simulate the escape of a dangerous animal—in this case a Siberian tiger—to measure the staffs’ response to such an emergency. And the 26-year-old Yamaguchi plays a vital part in all of this…he gets to put on a costume and be the tiger.

Check out the video after the jump to see what he has to go through as the tiger stand-in—mainly being chased by the zoo’s trainers who wield nets, sticks and tranquilizer guns (though the report makes it clear that no shots were actually fired at Yamaguchi).

A rep for the zoo acknowledges that there are folks who think this exercise is…well, silly, but I found the whole story to be quite disturbing. Why?  Read more...

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My 8 Most Romantic Movies

  • February 23, 2011 12:09 am

Cinema Paradiso

True Romance—You wait for someone outside his/her window for 365 days until this person falls for you. Cinema Paradiso is probably the most moving, romantic and cinematic movie in my book. And in some way—waiting—is very Chinese except that it’s set in a small town in Italy.

 Read more...

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February 25, 1942: The ‘Real’ Battle of Los Angeles a.k.a. UFOs ‘Attack’ L.A.

  • February 23, 2011 12:01 am

Next month brings the release of the Aaron-Eckhart-starring film Battle: Los Angeles about an alien invasion force that attacks Los Angeles. Of course such a story couldn’t be anything but pure science-fiction…right? Well, flashback to February 25, 1942 when a real event dubbed “The Battle of Los Angeles” involving a UFO and the military took place.

Sixty-nine years ago this week, early on the morning of Feb. 25, a UFO (an unidentified flying object) appeared over the Los Angeles sky. Keep in mind that the nation was at war and this was just months after the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor and less than 24 hours after a Japanese sub had launched an attack against coastal targets near Santa Barbara (remember how on edge we were in the months after 9/11 and you’ll get a sense of what it must have been like back then).

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The Benji Effect

  • February 22, 2011 4:39 am

Did you hear about the vacation boat that sank in Ha Long Bay in Vietnam, killing twelve sleeping tourists and their Vietnamese tour guide?  Awful, just awful.  Boat took less than a minute to sink, people screaming as they went to their watery graves.

That’s the kind of stuff I read about, day in, day out.  Y’know, if it bleeds, it leads.

The story was in Friday’s San Francisco Chronicle (yes, I still subscribe to an honest-to-god paper newspaper; I’m also on AOL; and I sometimes listen to music on a compact CD player when I walk the dog.  And it’s not because I’m, let’s just say, comfortably past 30, it so happens I want to do my part to save dying American industries.  But that’s a topic for another time).  Read more...

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Chinese Mistresses Not Taking It Lying Down Anymore

  • February 22, 2011 12:02 am

The Chinese have always had a contradictory attitude about the existence of mistresses, particularly when it comes to rich and/or powerful married men who have “secret” lovers on the side. On one hand, it’s a tradition that goes back to the days of the concubines, but it’s also a societal taboo that’s considered scandalous (hence, the popularity in that nation of a holiday like Mistress Day). Of course, such contradictions exist in other countries as well, but it seems that China’s mistresses are doing something about their position by asserting their voices in a way that, well, mistresses just aren’t traditionally supposed to do.

Among the things this modern breed of “new-age professional mistresses” are doing: starting websites about their “profession,” creating associations to protect their rights and even planning a festival in their honor on March 3 (as the number 3 indicates their third position in the relationship) that they hope to make an annual “affair.”

This new breed of Chinese mistresses “are young, bold, shameless, not shackled by Chinese traditional values and who don’t have to work a single day because their lovers pay them a higher salary than they could ever earn.”

One of the aforementioned websites—www.xeixi.com—is operated by China’s Association for Mistresses and is only accessible by its paid membership, which consists of 700+ women, all of whom claim to be in relationships with married men.

And what can you find on the site?

 Read more...

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A Good Ol’ Game of Staring Chicken.

  • February 22, 2011 12:00 am

Those of you who have read enough of my stuff know by now that I’m a little weird.  And if you haven’t, well, I am – so now you’re all caught up.

I have mentioned before that I may or may not have OCD and that this possible disorder manifests itself in many, many ways.  Well, I just remembered one and so I thought, “Hell!  Might as well share!”  So I had to or I wouldn’t be able to use the bathroom.

Don't look at me like that - it was the first one that came up! Well, not really. I just liked the color.

Imagine, if you will, walking, driving, transporting yourself around any of a number of public places.  It is an eventuality that you will run into other people – strangers – before you head back home to eat your dinner alone.

 Read more...

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Italo Disco Flashback: FANCY

  • February 21, 2011 3:13 pm

Growing up, I was ensconced with Italo Disco or 1980s Euro dance music. On the weekends, I’d work the family business and my Vietnamese uncles would be playing music from the likes of C.C. Catch or Modern Talking. I’d get mixtapes from them. In an isolated Vietnamese community, it was pretty much Italo disco all the time. On occasion, there’d be some tried and true New Wavey acts from the likes of Duran Duran, Talk Talk, The Cure or Culture Club (exposed to me by the heyday of MTV), school friends, etc., but for the most part, Italo Disco was on all the time.

Italo Disco was also compounded by VHS editions of Paris by Night, a popular Vietnamese music and variety show that was ubiquitous in Vietnamese households. The performers would play only two kinds of music genres: Cai luong (traditional folk music) or you guessed it, Italo Disco. As a Vietnamese kid in the ’80s, if you liked it or not, Italo Disco was a part of your very everyday life. I wrote about this very phenomenon and the New Wave influence on Vietnamese American teens in the ’80s.  Read more...

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The Lovely Japanese Love Doll

  • February 21, 2011 12:01 am

I’ve always dug artist Laurie Simmons’ work, especially her photographs, and her latest series is no exception. Simmons purchased a high-end Japanese love doll and shot a series of stills that definitely puts the doll in a different context than its creators intended (she added a second doll in later photographs). There’s a haunting, lyrical and decidedly non-sexual quality to these images—really interesting stuff. Check them out below:

 Read more...

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SAF Seeking… That.

  • February 20, 2011 12:02 am

I was feeling rage. That bitterness of disappointment was turning into a brick of salt in my tummy and giving me ulcers. Sleep was hard to come by. It wasn’t a total loss, I was still functional, but outwardly sending energy of “Fuck you!” to most of the world. I dislike this part of me, but hell, it’s true. A woman scorned, is let’s face it, a fuckin’ hell of a bitch.

YouTube Preview Image

And this bitch took to the air to fly away to Seattle to take care of the family’s property. Even Virgin America, the airline for club hoppers and Jersey Shore enthusiasts and who hire the hottest flight crew I’ve ever had the opportunity to spill my tonic water on, couldn’t cheer me up. “Men suck! The world is full of dicks! Asswipes! All men should die of syphillis! Grr grr snarl RAAAHR!!!”  Read more...

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What I Learned on YOMYOMF This Week – February 12 – 18, 2011

  • February 19, 2011 12:18 am

I’ve been trying to avoid carbs lately, not because I did my research about what kind of approach I should take with my day-to-day diet but because I overheard someone saying they were bad and I figured why not try the advice/opinion of someone I don’t even know.  Anyway, Asian as I am, this would seem like a Herculean task because, well – let’s not beat around the bush – we eat a lot of rice.  Fortunately for me, that love for rice wasn’t something that passed on to me.  Bad news?

I love mashed potatoes.

It’d be safe to assume that I love mashed potatoes more than most Asians love rice, so this is, in fact, a most painful separation.  Every time I pass by a KFC, numerous childhood memories of fluffy clouds of carbs inundate my brain, filling me with an overpowering desire to stuff my face with a gravy-topped mountain.

This is just one of the demons I face this week while providing you with some high-class snark – APPRECIATE ME.

On this week of Valentine’s Day, your near and dear Offenders tackle that most painful of painful holidays; bootleg DVDs; and naked cooking.  Of course, I’m gonna mention the naked cooking because now you’re gonna read this.  It’s a naked woman by the way – just to be sure.

Awesome.  Read more...

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Food+Movies=An Online Orgasm

  • February 19, 2011 12:01 am

There’s probably nothing we love here at YOMYOMF more than food and movies (well, aside from my thing for hot Vulcans) so the new tumblr site entitled “Snack to the Future” is the perfect internet destination for those like me who’ve wondered what the foodie version of our popular films would be. Check out all the food-inspired movie poster creations on the site but here’s a glimpse of what to expect below:

 Read more...

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I WOULD, AND I DO

  • February 18, 2011 9:39 am

In the celebration of St. Valentine’s and flava flav Romance week, I’d like to spotlight an Interpretations entry that might have flown under everyone’s radar. I personally thought this was in my top ten, if not five list. It may not have won the judge’s hearts but it’ll win yours. This 3 minute video was filmed in San Francisco where people are much more open minded. And if you were lonely over Valencrappytine’s day, then perhaps it was fate you watch this.

I WOULD, AND I DO

JOSH CHUCK – i made “i would, and i do” with my friends casey and morgan, totally for fun. i heard about the contest and thought about it for a bit, thinking of different ways to say those four lines, especially the first one. is anyone else sick of those damn lines? anyways, i tried to emphasize different words, and laughed when i thought of saying it like “not something id DO.” like do, as in “id do her if i was drunk enough.” So i thought of things i had never done but what others may have, and came up with my co-star.  Read more...

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