You are currently browsing the archives for January 2011.

Japanese kids go apeshit in McDonalds ad

  • January 31, 2011 8:24 am

I don’t know if this is necessarily effective advertising, but these kids enthusiasm for cheap Spongebob Squarepants Happy Meal toys is truly infectious. There’s one particular boy in this commercial who is so excited, it looks like he’s having a seizure. Check it out for yourself. YouTube Preview Image International McDonalds adverts have a colorful history, ranging from the Gaijin minstrel to McWeddings to a subtle ad about gay youth. Sure beats the boring “I’m Lovin’ It” campaign we have here in the States.

(Via JendotLu)

The Internet is Magic!

  • January 31, 2011 6:34 am

Well, according to NBC’s The Today Show, circa 1994. In this clip, a perplexed Bryant Gumbel tries to reason what the ‘@’ sign is all about and Katie Couric attempts to explain what this whole Internet thingy is all about. It’s quite funny: YouTube Preview Image

Sure, we joke around that the Internet is primarily used to forward NSFW emails to each other, watch porn, play online poker and the like. And then, there comes the Egypt Uprising. Gotta say, if it weren’t for the Internet, none of this would have been coordinated so quickly. So next time I’m trolling around for Elly Nguyen pictures, I’ll know the mechanisms that allow me to do so, will help spread democracy and freedom in some far corner of the world. Well, that’s what I’m telling myself.

SAF Seeking… The Check Limbo

  • January 31, 2011 4:16 am

We had met haphazardly at a restaurant. He was with his folks celebrating Christmas, I was picking up take-out. He seemed nice enough… after all, he was taking out his parents and that always points to someone who is generally a good guy. He called and invited me out for a drink. Okay sure! Just tell me where to meet you and I’ll be there!

Best Investment of the 80s

  • January 31, 2011 12:05 am

During my bi-weekly visit to the comic book store (yes, and if you didn’t already know, I make no bones about being a comic book geek), some guy comes in and asks about some Magic spell card (it sounds like he’s speaking in a foreign language to some of us in the store) and I ask myself a question that pops up every once in a while: whatever happened to sports card collecting?

Granted, I know sports card collecting is still around to some degree, but where entire stores used to be dedicated to sports cards back in the 80s, these days, sports cards are mostly relegated to a few counters or shelves in either comic book stores or novelty stores that carry a variety of collectibles (comic books, toys, sports cards, Magic cards, etc.).

As a kid, I remember my brother and I thinking—nay, knowing—that it wasn’t our hard work or the money in our savings accounts that would make us rich in the future; it was, in my brother’s case, his small box full of Karl Malone and Andre Rison rookie cards, and, in my case, my variety of David Robinson and Kenny Lofton rookie cards. At one point, we even had our hands on a few of the special cards that were more valuable than gold: the Ken Griffey, Jr. Upper Deck rookie card. The Billy Ripken “Fuck Face” error card. The Mark McGwire rookie cards (both Topps AND Donruss).

UCLA Boys Want to Bang…Harry Shum Jr.

  • January 31, 2011 12:01 am

Sex is the theme of this week’s issue of LA Weekly and one of the featured articles is a survey of UCLA students about their sex lives and attitudes about sex. Aside from the finding that college students (or at least the ones who go to UCLA) don’t seem to be as sex-crazed as the internet/media might have you believe (only 3.2% of the students had threesomes after getting drunk. That’s it?!), there was another result that caught my attention. Check out this question (Who is the celebrity you most want to have an affair with?) and the responses:

In case you missed the “anomaly,” look again at the column for “who the boys most want to have an affair with,” and scroll down to the seventh choice right under the First Lady. Yip, it’s the “Asian guy” from the hit TV show GleeHarry Shum Jr. a.k.a. Mr. Asian American Six-Pack:

What I Learned on YOMYOMF This Week – January 22 – 29, 2011

  • January 29, 2011 5:18 pm

I was helping my parents look at furniture the other day when I finally resigned myself to the fact that the search would take more than a couple hours. Thank you, Sweden.

In that desert expanse of time between upholstery perusal and meatballs with lingonberry jam, I took to finding a temporary residence in the primary color-laden labyrinth.  After playing solo, silent musical chairs for a couple minutes, I found a chair that fit my tushy like a glove and slowly began to space out with my iPod and cheap over-ear headphones.

At one point, a parade of a family started marching past me and, unsurprisingly, I couldn’t care less.  My music’s blaring in my ears when suddenly, in the din, I can make out a faint ‘Hello.’  I brushed it off and ignored it for a bit before realizing that a small boy no older than three was happily waving at me – me, this veritable grinch.

It was adorable, a small kindness, and, in spite of the cold, cold winter in my heart, I felt just a little less dead.

Then I went back home to kick some dogs.

This week, your Offenders click-clacked their keyboards about dick size; masturbating with Bibles; and clues regarding Batman’s sexuality.  So, all in all an illuminating time for everyone!  Oh, penises.

Asia Sets New World Records & Sexy Umi Wants to Attend Your Party Tonight

  • January 29, 2011 10:53 am

Damn, Asia’s on a roll with two new world records according to the good folks at the Guinness Book.

First, Kawasaki, Japan can now claim to have the world’s shortest escalator:

And if that’s not exciting enough to email home about (and to also show that not all of Asia’s records involve something being the “shortest”), China’s Qingdao-Haiwan Bridge, which connects the Chinese port of Qingdao with the suburb of Huangdao is now the world’s longest bridge at 26 miles long. The previous record was held by the Lake Pontchartrain Causeway in Louisiana, which is about three miles shorter:

The Real X-Files

  • January 28, 2011 4:10 am

Who needs Fox Mulder and Dana Scully when you have Leonard Nimoy? From 1976 to 1982, Nimoy hosted

IN OF

Channel 9 showed re-runs of this show when I was a kid, and I was riveted. “In Search Of” tackled freaky deaky stuff like UFO’s, Nostradamus, the Bermuda Triangle and Bigfoot, but that was just the tip of the iceberg, the iceberg, incidentally, hovering directly over the remnants of the lost city of Atlantis (season one, episode four).

Renaissance Man Leonard Simon Nimoy gave the show the aura of gravity it deserved.

My Life is a Porno or Proof of God’s Existence

  • January 28, 2011 12:01 am

I debated whether or not I should write this blog, mainly because what you are about to read is potentially the most amazing and monumental thing that could happen and I was afraid of jinxing it. It’s like Christmas, my birthday and the day I saw my very first live boob all rolled up in one. Anything this awesomely phenomenal always runs the risk of turning out badly, but in the end, that’s a risk I’m willing to take. Because I have a feeling that the worst possible outcome of the situation I now find myself in will probably still be pretty cool.

You see…today my life has now officially become the set-up for the best porn flick ever! Here’s what happened:

5 Ways the Bible Would Be Different if It Had Been Written by Asians

  • January 27, 2011 12:02 am

Contrary to what some people may think, the Bible did not fall fully-formed to earth from the heavens. It was written and edited by flesh and blood men who had their own agendas, biases and opinions, which couldn’t help but find their way into the finished text. And if the good book had been written by Asians, it would’ve reflected our cultural biases as well. Here are 5 things that would have been different if this had indeed been the case.

1) NOAH’S ARK WOULD HAVE BEEN A LOT LESS CRAMPED

OK, being the vengeful God that He tends to be in the Old Testament, the Almighty approaches Noah and explains how everyone in the world is wicked, therefore, the world will be destroyed by a great flood. But being the only righteous dude on earth, God will spare Noah and his family, but they must build an ark and collect two of every animal so they can ride out the catastrophe and re-populate the planet afterwards.

What the fuck?! This is messed up in so many ways.

First of all, this is God a.k.a. the Supreme Being who created…oh, everything! Couldn’t He just—I don’t know—re-populate the earth by creating more animals Himself?

SHIT ON THE INTERNET: Spike Jonze’s Ikea Commercial.

  • January 27, 2011 12:00 am

It’s always fun to look back at the things you couldn’t appreciate when you were a kid.  Maybe I’m just a little hard on myself, but whenever I look back, I think, “Man, you were such a dunce, small Jerome!  What pedestrian tastes you had!”  Sometimes, it’s food; other times, a book; and others still, a movie.  I mean I just rewatched the Back to the Future trilogy and not only is it the shit, it’s also a lot heavier than I remember.

Anyhoo, there is a point I’m trying to make, that being that on very rare occasions, that thing you failed to appreciate?  It’s a commercial.  And the commercial I rediscovered is Spike Jonze’s Ikea commercial from more than a couple years back:

As a quick primer on Spike Jonze, he directed a couple noteworthy films includi- man, fuck that.  Here is his Wikipedia page.

Baby, I’m A Star

  • January 26, 2011 3:19 am

This past week the New York Times published an article about Brock Enright, a Columbia M.F.A. grad who founded Videogames Adventure Services, a company that “that constructs ‘reality adventures’ for paying clients”.  Despite what yomyomf.com readers may think – they don’t peddle in sexual fantasies.  Instead their services sound like the equivalent of a live action, interactive “choose your own adventure” novel for those who seek their thrills from being kidnapped as opposed to bungee jumping (that’s so 1990s).  Their clients tend to be a well-heeled set and will pay $5,000-10,000 to be the star of scenarios choreographed and acted by Enright and his team.

Depachika

  • January 26, 2011 12:31 am

Whenever I go to Japan and visit the mega department stores like Takashimaya, Mitsukoshi, Isetan or Seibu, I love to window shop and look at all the pretty things they have there.  But I rarely buy anything, because just one look at the price tag and I go into sticker shock.  For someone whose favorite store is Target, the $100 t-shirts just don’t seem that appealing.

But the one section where I will go crazy at, is the basement food hall. Locals call them “depachikas”.  “Depa” is short for department store and “chika” means basement.

When I enter the seemingly endless corridors of the depachika, I feel like I’ve died and gone to food heaven. Individual stalls hawking pickles, cakes, confectionaries, fried foods, sushi, bentos, yakitori, fruit, meat and liquor can all be found here–probably overpriced and probably overpackaged, but guaranteed tasty.   In fact, if I had to be holed up anywhere due to zombies or end-of-the-world disasters, I can’t think of a better place you’d want to be.  (Sorry, I just finished watching “The Road,” so I needed to revisit my “end of the world” strategies.)

Holy Homoeroticism, Batman!

  • January 26, 2011 12:05 am

Last week, I stumbled onto this panel from an old issue of the World’s Finest comic book featuring Superman and Batman (which was also posted on our Facebook page). I’m sure it was purely unintentional, but it’s still pretty damn homoerotic:

Now, I’m not suggesting anything that hasn’t been suggested countless times already when I say that Batman is probably the gayest of all the major allegedly heterosexual superheroes. And that’s even if you don’t count the nippled Batman:

His close relationships with his best friend Superman and his young ward Dick Grayson a.k.a. Robin the Boy Wonder have always been a little…weird. And does anyone really buy the whole Bruce Wayne/millionaire playboy thing? I’m just saying, if it looks and feels like a beard…

But the most damning evidence for Batman’s alternative lifestyle comes straight from the comic books themselves. I present this evidence below and leave it to you to come make your own decision.

Banned on YouTube

  • January 26, 2011 12:02 am

My friend Philip Huang’s Youtube video titled “Masturbating with the Bible” got banned on Youtube. Youtube also put Philip’s account on a “6-month probation.” Residing in Berkeley, California, Philip is a self-taught and self-styled video artist who makes quite “out there” videos. Some of them are more irreverent and others are usually funny. For me, it’s cool that there are some “out there” Asian Americans making some irreverent works. His last video called “How to Destroy a Bible” is still up:

I gotta give it to Philip for being brave. I wouldn’t be able to post a masturbation video of myself on Youtube. According to his blog, Philip made the masturbation video as a statement against censorship as the Smithsonian pulled David Wojnarowicz’s video from an exhibit due to right wing groups’ pressure. So in protesting against the religious right, Philip wanted to make a point about the bible as an agent of censorship. In the video, the bible literally blocks your view of his penis as he’s masturbating. Read more about the banning on his blog.

What if Pixar’s UP had been made in 1965?

  • January 25, 2011 7:23 pm

Imagine that in some alternate universe, Disney/Pixar’s animated feature Up was made in 1965 as a live-action film starring the late, great Spencer Tracy. Check out the following awesome trailer that shows you what such a film might have looked like. And yes, everyone is here including Asian Wilderness Explorer Russell, Dug the talking dog and the floating balloon house:

My Son Wakes Up Whistling Every Morning. No, Really, He Does.

  • January 25, 2011 3:44 am

And he’s been doing it since the age of 8 (he’s a ripe old ten now).

And while it sometimes feels like a skewer in my ear – years of dj-ing have left me with tinnitus and hyperacusis – I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I have to shake my head in awe at this kid’s joie de vivre.  Let me reiterate: he wakes up whistling.  I hear “Hark the Herald Angels Sing” or “Jingle Bells” coming from his room at about 7:15 every morning (Christmas songs are his favorite).

Oh, sure, we’re all more or less happy to be alive, but how many of us are ecstatic to wake up every day on this spinning rock?

Original Offenders: Afong Moy, the First Chinese Woman in America

  • January 25, 2011 12:02 am

The world is so small these days that it’s hard to imagine being the first of your people to visit a foreign country that you’ve had no real contact with or know nothing about. But back in 1834, the idea of an Asian woman coming to America would have been akin to someone today visiting a newly discovered alien civilization on another planet. Yet, that’s what it must have felt like for Afong Moy whom history has recorded as the first Chinese (and most likely first “Oriental”) woman to set foot on U.S. soil. But the circumstances under which Moy became a pioneer was not the most pleasant one.

In 1832, American traders Nathaniel and Frederick Carne made their first trip to China. Up to that point, they had made their fortune importing items from France but realized there was an untapped market in the Orient they could exploit. Their search led them to China where they started to import fancy, but affordable Chinese goods that the growing American middle-class population could afford.

The Carne brothers were also showmen, always searching for ways to better market their business to the public. And they hit upon the ultimate marketing ploy when they decided to go one step farther and import a real live Chinese woman to America for the first time.

Being in a Gym is Weird for Me.

  • January 25, 2011 12:00 am

Because I am vain, I admit to working out part of the time each day. Let’s not beat around the bush: I was the fat kid who talked his way out of physical education by giving the coach tips on how to beat the latest Nintendo 64 Star Wars game.

At some point in my life, I realized that knowing the most effective way to beat Boba Fett was not gonna help me lose weight and I haven’t looked back ever since.  I’ve done most of my working out at home, always fueled by that pudgy specter of my past standing in the corner, out of breath with the stretched Pikachu shirt.

As part of my New Year’s Resolution, I finally stopped being such a hermit and started trying out one of my local gyms.  If you’d like to stop reading now, here’s is a Cliff’s Notes version of what happened:

Exactly like that, but not really, you lazy twat.  For those of you who are sticking with me (and why shouldn’t you?  I mean, it’s not like you’ve got anything better to do), this was like that part of the Hero’s Journey where he goes from the known to the unknown, the known in my case being the creation of ass-indents into furniture and the unknown being any sort of strenuous activity to speak of.

1,001 Reasons I Love Movies: (#20) John Belushi and Me

  • January 24, 2011 12:45 am

Had he lived, John Belushi would have been 62 today. The star of films like Animal House and The Blues Brothers as well as one of the original Saturday Night Live cast members, Belushi died in 1982 at age 33 from a drug overdose, but he still remains one of the most influential comedians ever. He may have also been the first person to encourage my creativity.

I’m not the type of person who usually meticulously follows rituals or traditions, but there is one that I’ve observed for many years. On my birthday, I check into the bungalow at the Chateau Marmont where Belushi died. It’s usually just for the day and I go there alone to write, reflect and soak in the vibes. There’s nothing morbid about it. It’s just a way for me to honor a man who had a profound affect on my artistic life and to be re-inspired. And Belushi was definitely inspirational. There’s no doubt that my sense of humor was shaped by Belushi’s style of comedy. When I try to be funny in my blogs here, it’s really just my poor attempt to emulate his comedic voice.

I met Belushi when I must’ve been around six-years-old in a classroom setting. I don’t remember much about it and I certainly didn’t know who he was at the time—I was too young and he wasn’t a big star yet. But I remember him being very funny and very encouraging of my creativity (he must have seen some story or drawing I had done in class). He pulled me aside and said that if I had an interest in the arts, I should pursue it. He told me his parents were immigrants like mine (from Albania in his case) and that when he was a kid, he wished someone had encouraged his interest in performing because for the longest time, he thought it was an impossible dream for an immigrant kid like himself. But he wanted me to know that nothing was impossible if you worked hard.