SAF Seeking… Unconditional Color Blind Love

This is how I thought love should always be like.

Is this perfection or am I wrong?

It was 2002 and I was just getting over a very bad heartbreak. I had moved out of my now ex’s apartment and was living in a small studio in the Silverlake area of Los Angeles. To punctuate my break up, I decided to get a cat. My ex was allergic to cats and we couldn’t own one together. So now that he was out of the picture, enter kitty cat!

I had decided I wanted a white cat. Why white? Because the majority of the furniture I owned at the time was white. If that cat was going to shed all over the place, it might as well blend into the background.

What I Learned on YOMYOMF This Week – October 24 – 30, 2010

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, FOLKS!  It’s that time of the year when people find a way to make every character in your childhood into something sexy, confirming whatever weird fetishes you may possesses regarding the Thundercats (although god damn, Lion-O – have you seen his thighs?).

And that’s as good a segue as any other into what many academic journals have already called “THE BEST USE OF LOOPING EVER, BRB:”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nx2BJ-AdOaI

I wanted to use the .gif, but it wouldn’t work.  It was probably too big – that’s what she said – so just turn off the volume and wonder just where that Elmo shirt is now.

If any of you are wondering, my Halloween costume will be/is Arthur from Inception (minus the PASIV suitcase just because it is so expensive) with a side of Guy Fawkes just because I doubt anyone will be able to tell I am Arthur until I start performing the introduction of the film by myself.

don't worry, ladies - you'll all have a turn

Right about now I am probably seeing just how gaga the women will be over a man who can dream a little bigger.  While they are undoubtedly crawling all over me, check out the interview I did with Chris Lee, executive producer of such films as Superman Returns and Valkyrie, over at the Interpretations site before reading on.

This week, YOMYOMF delved into getting your ass kicked by your younger self; the adventures of the murderous Great Pumpkin; and the diaries of Vlad Tepes.  If you haven’t wet your pants in excitement yet, you may want to check your bladder.  And if you have, what the hell is wrong with you?  GET THE HELL OUT.

A Happy (Recycled) Halloween!

I was going to write a brand-new Halloween themed blog for this weekend and then thought: WTF?! Why exert the time and effort to do something new when I can recycle shit I’ve already done with minimal effort?

After all, I often write about themes and topics that are appropriate for Halloween (last October, for ex, I did a month-long tribute to all things related to the holiday) so why not just re-package those old blogs in one “super” post?

So here are my top ten favorite (or the top ten that I was able to find with a quick google search) appropriately Halloween-themed posts from the past year in no particular order. Enjoy, and Happy Halloween! Oh, and if any of our hot female readers would like to send over photos of yourselves in slutty, revealing Halloween costumes, you’ll get no objection from me. Have fun and be safe—expect to see you all back here on Monday.

And here we go:

It’s Not Easy Being Vlad

Last month, the fifteenth century diary of Prince Vlad Tepes of Wallachia was discovered during excavations for “Wet Troughs of Speed!” Transylvania’s newest water theme park.  Nicknamed Vlad the Impaler by his critics, the busy prince is known to have killed at least one fifth the population of his own principality in addition to hundreds of thousands of Turks, Saxons, Germans, Hungarians and anyone else he found annoying.  At a crowded press conference, Transylvanian officials kindly made public a portion of the petite histoire of the enigmatic, and perhaps misunderstood, man who would come to be known as Dracula.

June 29, 1453

Can’t believe Constantinople fell to the Turks.  The Saxons, maybe, but the Turks?  At least the garden looks good.

Looking To Snag An Asian Dude? Well, Girl, Then Get Yo Ass To Vietnam!

Regular readers of this blog know that we often get emails from non-Asian women who dig Asian guys asking for advice on how to snag some of that tasty yellow man meat for themselves. I’ve tried to help these ladies when I can (see past examples here and here), but according to this latest report, the answer to their yellow-fevered prayers may be to get their fine booties over to Vietnam.

It seems the country is about to experience a serious gender imbalance. For every 100 females that are born in Vietnam, 110.6 males are born (compared to the norm of 105). Other Asian nations are also experiencing similar imbalances, but it’s happened over a longer period of time and those rates are starting to even out.

According to Vietnam’s Deputy Prime Minister Nguyen Thien Nhan, this situation may grow so severe that 3 million men will find it difficult to find wives by 2030. While this may sound like a problem for Vietnam, it is a golden opportunity to all of you looking to hook yourself an Asian man.

Five Otherwise ‘Stereotypical’ Films Made Better By An Asian Performance

Last week I blogged about five otherwise decent films ruined by Asian stereotypes. Today, I look at five films (in no particular order) with problematic portrayals of Asians but that contain at least one performance by an Asian actor that make the movies “better.” So without further ado:

1. THE LAST SAMURAI (2003) 
Ken Watanabe as Katsumoto

On the face of it, the plot for this movie sounds pretty ridiculous: White soldier (Tom Cruise) travels to 19th century Japan and becomes the titular “last samurai” when all the other samurais are killed off, then proceeds to retire to a Japanese village to live out his life with his Japanese love. But what gives the film its weight and verisimilitude are the performances of the Japanese cast and, in particular, Ken Watanabe as the leader of the samurai rebels who takes Cruise under his wing and mentors him. Watanabe (who was nominated for an Academy Award for his work) grounds the film with a talent and charisma that appears so subtle and effortless that before you even realize it, you have witnessed the birth of a true American star.

Here’s the original preview trailer:

Jerome & Inception: fan fiction – THE HUMAN VAULT, part three.

I have been challenged to write about Inception once a week until the end of the year. Not that this really changes anything because I was planning on doing that anyway.

This week, we continue my adventure into the world of fan fiction.  It’s probably safe to say we won’t be getting any more Inception stories from Nolan and the Blu-Ray doesn’t come out till later this year.  So in order to get a fix, I’m pretty much gonna have to make my own so hopefully, you need a fix too.

The first is a story in parts.  Here is Part 1 and Part 2.  This is Part 3.  It’s called

“The Human Vault.”

Life After Interpretations

ON THE CHOICES

Though I was not a juror, I loved all the top choices of Interpretations.  “Shine” actually brought tears to my eyes, which is a major accomplishment for 3 minutes.  All the winners also really thought about the lines of the script and didn’t just throw them in without any real context.

There were many other shorts that I also loved and yes, there were some personal faves of mine that didn’t make it, but just think of trying to get 10 friends to unanimously agree on 5 pictures that should be nominated for the Oscars. And with 240 pictures to choose from, I think it would be close to impossible.  Films are subjective.  That’s their nature.  Yes, perhaps next time, there can be more awards, but the organizers never anticipated this many entries.  They thought they would get maybe 50 entries if they were lucky.  Also,  I understand that entries that didn’t win but had an impact on the judges will be focused on in the coming weeks.  So check back for those.

FOR THOSE WHO DIDN’T WIN

Hollywood is a very difficult place that many people aspire to be a part of whether you are white, black, Asian, Hispanic or anything else.  They don’t call it the “land of broken dreams” for nothing.  If you want to make it in this industry, be prepared for lots and lots of rejection.  Be prepared for lots of notes, criticism and general degradation.  So in a way, not “winning” is a good preparation for Hollywood.  This little film contest is a tiny dust mite in the landscape of disappointments, rejections and perceived injustices you are going to face in the biz, so if you don’t have the chops to take it, get out now!  Run!

A Very Satanic Charlie Brown Halloween

As a child, what I loved most about the holidays were the Charlie Brown specials and my favorite was the Halloween-themed It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. In the special, Linus sits up all night in the pumpkin patch waiting for the appearance of the Great Pumpkin only to end up disappointed.

Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately considering the bloody carnage that follows), Linus rectifies his past mistake by calling for the Great Pumpkin using “satanic” witchcraft in this Adult Swim Charlie Brown special from a couple of years back. Check it out:

Charlie Brown – Halloween Special

WhiteKenny | Myspace Video

To Catch A Cheater

While I love these two pictures, they’re completely misleading.  I guess it’s only fair I disabuse you right away: this post isn’t about using decoys to catch would-be philanderers.  Nope, nothing nearly that juicy, I’m afraid, but it might be about something just as important.

For the last four years, I’ve been part of a group called WriterCoach Connection.  We go into middle schools and high schools and tutor kids one-on-one.  They bring us outlines or drafts of their work, or maybe just the kernels of ideas, and we help them find their voice, figure out what they want to say, and do it in a comprehensible way. 

It’s fun and I love it.

INTERPRETATIONS Update 10-26: SDAFF Recap

So as our readers know, some of the YOMYOMF crew headed down south this past weekend for the San Diego Asian Film Fest where we announced the five winning finalists of our INTERPRETATIONS Film Initiative: Aldous Davidson, Kha Do, Keith Eng, Andrew Oh and Joey Yee.

The finalists were announced at the fest’s big gala dinner on Saturday night. Guest Offender David Henry Hwang (Tony Award-winning writer of M. Butterfly) and INTERPRETATIONS commissioned filmmaker Danny Pudi (Abed on NBC’s Community) presented awards to the three finalists in attendance: Aldous, Andrew and Joey (Keith and Kha will receive their awards by mail).

Why I Hate (writing for) the Movies

DHH

David Henry Hwang is a playwright who has been producing plays, musicals and operas for three decades. He won the Tony Award for his play M. BUTTERFLY and also writes for movies and television. He spent the past weekend in San Diego to help YOMYOMF celebrate the end of INTERPRETATIONS at the San Diego Asian Film Festival and to attend the production of his play YELLOW FACE at the Mo’olelo Performing Arts Company which runs until this weekend. 

Having just served as a juror for INTERPRETATIONS and returned from the impressive San Diego Asian Film Festival, I find myself inspired by the talent, dedication, and passion that went into each and every film. This causes me to reflect on my own experiences as a screenwriter working on movies, most of which did not get made, as well as the handful that did.

I should explain that I come to the filmmaking world as something of an outsider. I’m not referring so much to my being Asian, as that I’m basically a theatre guy, having written plays, Broadway musicals, and libretti for operas. So, as a writer, I am spoiled. In every form involving scripts, someone holds the primary creative vision, which the other collaborating artists support. In opera, for instance, that person is the composer. When it comes to plays, it’s the playwright.