What I Learned on YOMYOMF This Week – July 25 – 31, 2010

Over the past couple of days, I’ve had to fend for myself and I’ve learned some stuff outside of YOMYOMF.  For example: I can’t cook.  Left to my own devices, my breakfasts will be Cinnamon Toast Crunch and milk; my lunches, microwaveable; and dinners, anything my dear aunts happen to be making.  I just got back from the grocery store and the only things I bought were milk and Cocoa Puffs.

The cashier turned his head up from my purchases to me so slowly, in the way only slow motion could make more agonizing.

One day, I’ll grow up and eat Total.

As July comes to an end, YOMYOMF takes a gander at new ways Korean men can get some vagina; the latest in masturbation innovations; and worms.

In other words, I’ve got a wholesome post for you today.

Enjoy Some Bukkake Milk This Weekend

Check out this “interesting” Japanese commercial for Bukkake Milk a.k.a. the “Number 1 most honorable brand mammal juice drink” below. If you’re a regular reader of our blog, you know what the term “bukkake” means (get schooled YOMYOMF-style here and here). If not, let Wikipedia instruct you here. And remember: “Swallow. The flavor is like a fist.” And with that, all I can say is WOW!:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZh7HvQ6wsQ

The Burning Question

“Hey spaz, do you eat to live, or live to eat?”

Hillary Malloy giggled as she asked me the question.  I was floored.  I didn’t have an answer.  It wasn’t the content of the question, it was the fact that Hillary was talking to me at all.  I was in Catholic middle school – St. Brendan’s – and Hillary was at the top of a holy triumvirate second in stature only to The Father, Son and the Holy Ghost.

Hillary Malloy, Tina Hammers, and Maryanne Reyes.  The big Three.  God they were cute.  More than cute.   Every boy in school desired them.

12 More Things Overheard During The Filming Of The Koreatown Reality Show

I previously blogged about 10 things overheard during the filming of the upcoming reality show set in L.A.’s Koreatown.  This week, new photos of the cast of the Tyrese-produced series have surfaced and, in a related story, a new study says crimes like robbery and rape could increase in neighborhoods where reality shows are set so watch your back, Koreatown!  But to commemorate this latest news, here are more things overheard during the production of the “Asian” Jersey Shore:

1. If I projectile vomit all over you, will you still sleep with me?

2. You mean Brad Pitt didn’t start his career as a gay porn star/reality show train wreck? Ah, fuuuuuck me! I wish someone had told me that sooner!

3. “My totem is a spinning soju bottle.” “OMG, mine too!” “OMG, me too!” “OMG, me too!” “OMG, what if we’re all dreaming right now?” “OMG!!!!” “OMG!!!”

Defiance of a Child of 4.29

K.W.

At 82-years-old, K.W. Lee is considered the “Godfather of Asian American journalism.” He immigrated to the U.S. in 1950 on a student visa and became the first Asian immigrant to be hired by a mainstream news daily and has reported for the Kingsport Times and News in Tennessee, the Charleston Gazette in West Virginia and the Sacramento Union. He has covered stories ranging from the plight of coal miners in the Appalachians to the civil rights movement in the Jim Crow South to the unjust incarceration of Chol Soo Lee. K.W. founded the Korea Times English Edition and continues to work and lecture across the country. He is also working on a project to document the Korean American experience during the L.A. riots.

The Tiananmen Square Massacre broke out in 1989.

Nobody knew the name of that forlorn figure of a Chinese youth on the TV screen in a death-defying, heart-stopping standoff, daring to stop the rolling tanks at Beijing’s blood-drenched Tiananmen Square.

Three years later, a made-in-USA mini- urban pogrom erupted in, of all places, the City of Angeles. It’s called the April 29, 1992, L. A. Riots or Sa-I-Gu (4-2-9 in Korean).

Nobody knew another lonely figure, a faceless Korean grocer’s son, who penned a heart-rending letter of protest and defiance to the mighty Los Angeles Times at the height of the local media-instigated open season on hapless Korean mom&pop storekeepers in the crime-and-violence-ridden inner cities of LA.

Jerome & Inception: a bit of background.

That I love the greatest film ever made is no secret.  And so, as with almost every great love in history, mine must be tested, challenged, and assailed at every turn and Phil has fired the first (official) volley.

only use details...

In case you haven’t been reading (in which case we’ll have to change that with inception), the challenge he has posed for me is to write one Inception-themed post a week till the end of the year.  Which you know – if you have any idea the kind of person I am – isn’t much of a challenge at all.  But since most of you readers probably don’t keep track of the lives of nerdy, maladjusted obsessives through their online avatars, this first post will be a primer about me.

As well as a fucking awesome exercise in vanity and narcissism.

Hungry for Haiku: NYC moments

plant of the fried sweet-
dots doughnut with lavender
spa meets sugar fix

Katz – smoked meat market
wurst makes a knoble date with
pastrami wingman

mainlining pork buns
need 12-step to purge the pork
Yum-o-fuku high…

Short time in NY

Friends with the food lists, thank you-

Sunshine, Nick, Bond, DHH, ja718, Nina, Pat, Jonathan Gold, Kurly Kolly and others…

left hungry for more

How To Scar A Bear For Life

Due to my paralysis from celebrating hamburger day and the additional all-you-can-eat Korean bbq dinner on top of that, a painless lazy quick post for today. Saw the following video from a Japanese game show over at Absolutely Fobulous

Basically, the goal here seems to be to scare the fuck out of a baby bear by throwing it into a cage with a lion cub and a monkey. The bear’s reactions are pretty intense and you know this is going to emotionally scar it for life. When this bear grows up to become some psychotic monster out to indiscriminately kill all lions, monkeys and Asian game show hosts, the Japanese will only have themselves to blame. But make sure to check out the end of the video when you catch a glimpse of what’s to come as the bear cub decides to fight back:

Worm Factory

My husband and I have started to try our hand at growing vegetables in our yard.  OK, actually it’s more like he’s growing the vegetables and I just watch.  With my brown thumb, my sorry attempt at growing a few herbs failed miserably in mass plant genocide. 

So far, my husband has successfully sprouted some tomatoes, basil and green onions and the potato-in-a-bucket looks promising as well.  Our kale was unfortunately devoured by caterpillars.
 

We’ve also decided to be more eco friendly by refraining from using pesticides and chemical fertilizers.  So over the weekend, we ended up buying our very own vericomposter. 

“What the hell is a vericomposter?” you might ask.  Well, it’s basically a worm factory.  The worms eat up our garbage and create poo that is a natural fertilizer. 

How I’ll be Celebrating National Hamburger Day

Yes, loyal readers, today is National Hamburger Day a.k.a. one of the most awesome holidays ever created. And considering that Americans consume 14 billion hamburgers a year, I don’t think I’m alone in thinking this is an awesome holiday. Since it would be unpatriotic not to recognize this occasion, I have vowed to do so by eating as many hamburgers for lunch as possible. I would extend this vow through dinner but I already have plans for all-you-can-eat Korean bbq so I don’t want to look like a pig.

So what I think I’ll do is a walking burger lunch tour through my hood (which is Los Feliz and Silver Lake). I figure this way I’ll get some exercise and burn off some of the calories I’ll be consuming so it’s a win-win. Anyway, here’s the plan:

Trailer Mash-Ups: ‘Inception’ Flavah

I’ve been giving my fellow Offender Jerome a hard time for geeking out so much on Inception (no, Jerome, it’s not technically illegal to marry a movie, but it’s generally frowned upon). So I thought I’d throw him a boner bone and do an Inception-flavored post. Those of you who already spend too much time online like me has probably already seen the various Inception trailer mash-ups. Following are a few of my favs.

Oh, and I’ve challenged Jerome to write an Inception-themed post every week until the end of the year. He might have thought I was joking, but I’m totally serious and if he’s a real man, he would accept the challenge. So I guess we’ll just have to wait to see if he is or not. In the meantime, enjoy:

Up mash-up:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AY69-AgUmDQ

Warhol Would Smile

Okay, someone needs to tell me flat out: is “Exit Through The Gift Shop” a hoax or not?

I hadn’t heard about this angle going in to the movie.  When I left the theater, I thought I had just seen a very smart meditation on what is – or isn’t – art, and who is – or isn’t – an artist, and who does – and doesn’t – get to decide.

I was mulling over what the real differences were between Banksy, Shepard Fairey and Mr. Brain Wash, and found that I very much agreed with the street artist in the movie who says, “The joke’s on us.  Or maybe the joke’s on them.  Or maybe there’s no joke at all.”