Just Say What?

It was 1988. The year both the Lakers and Dodgers won their respective league’s World Championship. The cherry on top was when I found out the Lakers were dropping their first ever LP. Excited, I forgone lunch for three days to accrue enough money to purchase the album (a strategy I applied often as a kid in order to buy stuff). Expecting pandemonium on its release date, I woke up extra early and headed out to my nearest Music Plus store. Surprisingly, there was no one else in sight. When the workers arrived they gave me funny looks as they opened up shop. I didn’t care because at that moment I knew I’d be the first person in the world to purchase the “first ever” LP released by the Los Angeles Lakers.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2eFdO7H7cU[/youtube]

Astronaut Didn’t Change His Underwear For A Month In Space

koichi_wakatapa_450x300Japanese astronaut Koichi Wakata returned to earth today on the space shuttle Endeavour after spending 4 ½ months living in an orbiting space station. One of the experiments he conducted during his stay in space was to wear the same underwear for a whole month.

It was all part of a study to see how the J-Wear brand of Japanese underwear held up under such extreme conditions. It’s a new line of underwear (as well as shirts, pants and socks) that is “anti-bacterial, water-absorbent, odor-eliminating” and designed specifically for long space voyages where it would be impractical to pack a lot of clothing.

Krazy Karaoke

 

Asians acting like fools during karaoke is an internet mainstay. For some reason, schoolgirls, fey dudes from Korea or Chinese Backstreet Boys pretty much take the cake in this department. 
I guess it’s the William Hung-ification of bad singing and weird dance techniques, but I find this following clip from Japan pretty hilarious. 

Asians acting like fools during karaoke is an internet mainstay. For some reason, schoolgirls, fey dudes who love Mariah Carey (both from Korea), or Chinese Backstreet Boys pretty much take the cake in this department. 

I guess it’s the William Hung-ification of bad singing and weird dance techniques, but I find this following clip from Japan pretty hilarious. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dncuuw94dp8[/youtube] Japanese comedians are truly a unique bunch. This duo is known as Tetsu and Tomo. They are an owarai duo, and Japan has a rich comedy tradition. It’s broad and slapsticky but… sooo Japanese. 

Confessions Of A Thrifty Ice Cream Ho

When I hang out with my fellow Offenders, our social interactions always usually revolve around food. Most of us will pretty much eat anything and in mass quantities because we’re slobs pigs passionate about the things that make life worth living. I say this because I want to make it clear that I’m not one of those guys who only eat salads and oatmeal and protein bars and my fellow Offenders will back me up on that. If I feel like eating a large pizza with everything on it, then, damn it, that’s exactly what I’ll eat with no apologies and guilt.

But there is one thing I try to resist as much as I can. And this is it:

How to Survive An Attack By An Asian Vampire

thirst_reviewIf you’re like me, you may be suffering Hollywood vampire overload with recent projects like Twilight, True Blood and Underworld: Rise of the Lycans. Now, our Asian brethren have also gotten into the act. Just this month alone, we’ve seen the vampire-themed films Blood: The Last Vampire and Thirst (opening in select theaters tomorrow). So while vampire consciousness pervades our culture, this is a prime teachable moment and a good opportunity for me to once again offer practical advice that could save your life. This time–about what you should do in the event you are attacked by an Asian vampire.

18 MMW Wants You To Bow Down To Your Asian Masters

18mmw-bow_down-3x5Ok, too lazy indifferent busy to do a proper blog entry today, but wanted to plug an upcoming show from the dudes at 18 Mighty Mountain Warriors, the self-described “most psychotic Asian American theatrical comedy group.” For those in L.A., their new sketch comedy show entitled Bow Down To Your Asian Masters opens this Friday and runs until August 23 at the Complex Theater in Hollywood. For complete info, check out their website http://www.18mmw.com/

What I’ve always dug about the 18 MMW is that they are not afraid to offend and have a “fuck you all” attitude, which is refreshing when so much Asian American theater is p.c. and dull. If you’ve never seen them, check out these sketches:

Pig: A wonderful, magical animal

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Homer: Are you saying you’re never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon? 
Lisa: No. 
Homer: Ham? 
Lisa: No. 
Homer: Pork chops? 
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal. 
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

As I also share Homer Simpson’s love affair with the pig, here’s a shortlist of my favorite establishments where I pay homage to this wonderful, magical animal.

Dragon Mark (Monterey Park):  It’s all about the fried potstickers.  Just the right amount of pork, just the right amount of wrapping – charred with a smoky wok seared finish.  http://www.yelp.com/biz/dragon-mark-san-gabriel

Women I Dislike But Would Still Totally Do: Michelle Malkin

michelleConservative author Michelle Malkin appeared last night on Sean Hannity’s Fox News show to plug her new book Culture of Corruption: Obama And His Team Of Tax Cheats, Crooks, And Cronies. The title pretty much says everything you need to know about the book’s content. Malkin has courted her fair share of controversy for her viewpoints in the past. In 2004, her book In Defense Of Internment: The Case For ‘Racial Profiling’ In World War II And The War On Terror triggered outrage in the Asian American community. Malkin, who is Asian American herself, argued that the internment of Japanese Americans was justified and the same procedures could be used against Muslims and Arab Americans.