Greece is screwed.  The home country of Mt. Olympus is bankrupt and no spell conjured up by any naked God from atop the Acropolis will be able to save it.  Normally, when a country cannot pay off it’s debts, the government can quietly print up a whole bunch of new money via a printing press (ie. out of thin air) to get the creditor pimps off their backs (that’s what the United States does).  How cool would it be if we all had our own little, secret printing presses hidden in our closets?  Credit card bills too high?  Just print until you’re in the black.  Want that $1.5 million dream house but you got no coin?  Just run off 15,000 one hundred dollar bills.  Got a Korean girlfriend?  No problem at all!  Just give her a mini printing press hidden inside a LV or Prada bag and 98% of all your future fights will instantly disappear.  Unfortunately for Greece, the nation cannot print it’s way out of their financial mess like the United States because Greece’s currency, the Euro, is tied to 22 other European nations.  Basically Greece doesn’t have the keys to the printing press and today, finds itself in a financial checkmate to it’s world creditors.  Zeus is dying.  No, actually, Zeus is dead but is being kept alive via an IV, life support, and Wheel Of Fortune reruns.  Greece is pretty much laying in the coffin, just one nail short of stepping into it’s own mythology.  What is this great Hellenic nation to do?  Athena has an idea…

you mean I can own this???

you mean I can OWN this?

Desperate times call for desperate measures.  It was just announced that Greece is seriously considering SELLING their 3,000 or so uninhabited islands in order to raise enough Euro to keep them from the brink.  That’s right, you and I may have the opportunity to own a piece of the Greek holy land very, very soon.  Prices will range from about $1 million to the top end of $300 million.  How rad would it be to own your own Greek island?  Your rules, your world, your way.  Just get together with a few select friends and you can create a new civilization from scratch with you sitting atop the throne of your Acropolis with your Aphrodite/s of choice.  Tempting, no?

I'll buy it!

I, for one, am going to buy one – as a place of recluse and rejuvenation for myself and my soon to be wife, Michelle Kwan.  I mean seriously, where else could my Deity of Ice truly live but in Greece amongst her rightful community, the Gods.  She may have skated and danced in the mortal world, but eventually every angel must return home to the heavens.  I will call this new island nation, “Michelle Kwan Island.” The island will be clothing optional and will be home to endangered animals like unicorns, blue llamas, and domesticated killer whales who have murdered their trainers.  Law and order will be maintained by a simple implementation of Hammurabi’s Code of an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a touch for a touch.  Ice skating will be the national sport during the day.  And group sex the national sport of night (participation is mandatory).  All food will be grown on island with an airdrop of In-N-Out burgers every other Sunday to keep the masses motivated and happy.  Power will be generated by harnessing the sun, the wind, and the recycling and burning of our own anal droppings.  The goal is to integrate the best of society while filtering out all the ills.  It will be a utopia like no other.  We will financially sustain ourselves by allowing a select number of high net worth individuals to visit “Michelle Kwan Island” to caress her granite hard legs (only one touch of a non-sexual nature) and the opportunity to milk the unicorns.   We will, of course, charge a substantial fee paid only in physical gold or silver and will only allow visits twice a year on either ISAD (Ice Skater Appreciation Day) or Halloween.  All visitors will be sent home with generous gifts, like a nice azure throw sheared from the backs of our llamas, several varieties of unicorn cheese, and a case of our very own high protein youth elixir made from killer whale semen.  The plans are already in place.  All that is required is Greece to give the official sell signal.  I am eagerly awaiting the possibility of the ultimate new beginning…

If you could buy a Greek island, what what you name it?  How would you grow your utopia?

"Michelle Kwan Island" - Mykonos is gonna suck in comparison

* UPDATE – Offender Iris is spearheading “Takeshi Kaneshiro Island”.  She is currently looking for investors…

* UPDATE 2 – MacLu is claiming “Tina Fey Island”.  I’m sure the atmosphere will be sexy yet intelligent.