(Other) Americans Trying Hawaiian Food

Ah, you mainlanders. You don’t know what you are missing. How can someone diss the yin and yang elegance of a spam musubi? It’s the perfect balance of salty and glutinous, wrapped in seaweed, and is perfect to have after a long day of surfing, hiking, or drinking. It’s great anytime of the day or night!

Therefore, I chortle at these Buzzfeed videos that have mainlanders taste Hawaiian food, even though they are using the term correctly. Whenever you refer to “Hawaiian,” it’s in reference to the Native Hawaiian culture and customs. When it comes to “Hawaiian food,” it is usually referred to Hawaii local cuisine, which is a hodge podge of Asian and Pacific influences, hence the spam musubi or the loco moco. But, I am a stickler when it comes to that kind of stuff.

The Woman with a 36-Year-Old Baby Skeleton Inside Her Stomach

When 60-year-old Kantabai Thakre went to the hospital after experiencing stomach pains, doctors discovered a lump in her abdomen and feared that she might have cancer. But the truth, as they say, turned out to be much stranger. For what they found inside her was this:

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The skeleton of a 36-year-old baby.

Apparently, Thakre had gotten pregnant in 1978 at the age of 24, but the chances of survival for the unborn child were slim when it was discovered that the fetus was growing outside the womb. Fearing an operation, Thakre went to a neighboring health clinic to take care of the problem through alternative methods. She returned to her Indian village without having the fetus removed and the rest is…well, the remains of your dead baby that’s been in your stomach for the past 36 years.

Watch the first episode of SELFIE online now!

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We are all very excited for the new fall TV season because of the actual Asian representation we’re seeing on many of the network’s major new shows, ranging from the mid-season FRESH OFF THE BOAT (based on Eddie Huang’s memoir), to the leads in SCORPION (executive produced by Justin Lin, who also directed the pilot), Maggie Q is back in the crime procedural STALKER, and John Cho’s romantic comedic lead role in SELFIE opposite former DOCTOR WHO companion Karen Gillan!

Granted, rattling off JUST four shows on network TV may be nothing to crow about, but it is incremental progress, and the fact that these shows have Asians in the lead roles, is a pretty big deal. Of course, in the end, it’s all about how good the content is, and we’re hoping that these shows are good and do survive the Nielsen ratings and find their audiences.

So Tom Cruise’s ‘The Last Samurai’ was Actually Historically Accurate?

Take a look at this image from a 13th Century Japanese scroll:

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Some in Japan are convinced that is a drawing of a white guy. Dating back to the Kamakura Era (1185-1333), the scroll depicts a samurai battle with what appears to be the white guy engaged in the fighting:

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The Portuguese didn’t land in Japan until the 16th Century and there are examples of Japanese art starting from that time that depicts both white and black guys:

Around the Horn: My Kids Playing Football aka Future Concussions

With the NFL football season quickly approaching, there will be many men and some women in America that will have their Sundays completely booked sitting on their couch glued to the TV. I never really had a desire to play for a real organized team growing up like in High School but I did love the sport. I grew up watching the San Francisco Forty Niners with Joe Montana and Jerry Rice bringing the city multiple Super Bowls trophies. But recently in the last 5 years, there has been many scientific test and testimonies from older players who have been suffering very bad head traumas and concussions that have left them scarred for life where they become poor paying for medical treatment.. The players union have sued the NFL and NFL sorta swept the problem away by paying them all off. Even though the NFL avoided being blamed for the cause for being a vicious sport and helmet to helmet violence, its still a scary thought to see a player being completely knocked out cold on the field. Football is even one of the worst sports salary contracts for their players compared to basketball and baseball but yet football’s revenue brings in one of the highest in all sports. My question this week to the Offenders is if your kids or future kids wanted to play football, would you let them play? Say it was High School football, maybe even college and you knew the level of competition was high where the chances are more likely for life threatening injuries could happen, would you want them to play?

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Getting Coffee at the ‘Most Depressing Starbucks in America’

This is what folks are calling a “horror show” and the “most depressing Starbucks in America”:

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Newly opened this month, it’s located on York Boulevard in Highland Park and as fate would have it, it’s right on the route from my place to our YOMYOMF offices in South Pasadena. So on a blazing hot sunny afternoon (aka yesterday afternoon) I paid a visit after gorging out on 1/3 pound burger and chili fries at nearby Oinkster working out strenuously at a nearby gym.

Why is this Starbucks so bad? Many are comparing its design aesthetic and atmosphere to that of a prison. As one reviewer on Yelp wrote: “THIS IS THE WORST STARBUCKS EVER! Where is the warmth? Where is the interaction between the employees and customers? This location looks like a jailhouse and is less than what we deserve as a community!”

Paul McCartney. @Candlestick. #TheEnd.

guest_offendersDOMINIC

Dominic Mah is a writer, director, rock musical aficionado, and ex-professional gambler. He can be found on the internets as dommah, paranormalstatus.com, and @ThorHulkCritic. He was also a part of our YOMYOMF Summer Blockbuster Showdown. His personal heroes are Stan Lee, Bruce Lee, Annabel Lee and Barbara Lee.

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It was 20ish years ago today…

The first pop music I ever heard clearly was Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, and if your experience is the same, then you scarcely need read this preamble. The vinyl record belonged to my father. I was very young and had only a vague concept of music being in two categories: 1) All my father’s classical records, in which I had begrudging compulsory interest, and 2) something called rock music, which was on the radio. Self-image having formed well before musical vocabulary, I knew that rock was the cool category, and that I could not possibly belong to the cool category. In terms of “having musical taste,” I mainly knew the opening theme to the Battle of the Planets cartoon. Bach and Brahms and Beethoven were things that happened in an adult world: pleasant, settled, defined. But next to these 3 big B’s in my dad’s record collection, there was this one record by the Beatles.

Is There a Gay Interracial Couple in ‘Expendables 3’? Apparently, Yes!

(SPOILERS Ahead)

I’m sorry my fellow Offenders concluded this season’s YOMYOMF Summer Blockbuster Showdown already because I would’ve loved seeing them discuss this topic: apparently, there is gay interracial couple in the just released Expendables 3. And it’s not some random couple that pop up for a few seconds in the background. Nope, it’s two of the movie’s biggest stars. Wait for it…I give you:

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Yup, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jet Li!

Here’s how Buzzfeed describes the scene that allegedly lays this out:

Naked Blue Avatar Dude with a Sex Doll

For your weekend enjoyment, I give you a blue dude in Beijing running around with a blowup doll:

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Who is he? What does all this mean? Speculation online is that it might be someone who’s doing this because he lost a bet and the Chinese press are comparing the guy to the blue Na’vi in James Cameron’s hit film Avatar. Although I don’t remember any of the Na’vi in that film running around with inflatable sex toys, but it was a long movie so I might have missed that part. And, well, this NSFW product is apparently a real thing:

Another Thai commercial that will make you cry

Man, I swear that Thai commercials are the new K-dramas. They’re short and sweet but packed with tons of heartfelt, heart-tugging stories that will squish your insides and make you do the ol’ waterworks on the eyes. This latest commercial from Thai Life Insurance is definitely up there with the one about the good samaritan who does good deeds, and the other one about the young beggar who becomes a doctor and saves the life of the street merchant who gave him a break years ago.

I particularly like this commercial, entitled “Street Concert,” because it’s simpler and isn’t necessarily a tear-jerker, but it’s definitely feel good for sure. And to think these commercials sell life insurance! Well played, Thais. Well played.

1,001 Reasons I Love Movies (#36): Lauren Bacall Teaches the World How to Whistle

Lauren Bacall + To Have and Have Not 5

On the heels of the death of Robin Williams, we lost another icon yesterday—the great Lauren Bacall.

Bacall was working as a model when director Howard Hawks cast her in her first film, 1944’s To Have and Have Not, opposite her future husband Humphrey Bogart. The movie made her an instant star and if you need proof of it, check out this famous scene from the film: “You know how to whistle don’t you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow.”