Film Festival Dispatch: Fuckin’, Cold Berlin Edition

The title of this blog entry says it all — I’m freezing my gonads off here at the 62nd Berlinale. After a freezing experience at Sundance with the YOMYOMF crew, I guess I was cursed to continue onward on my own through my festival gypsy trip to another freezing place. With temperatures clocking in the mid-teens Fahrenheit, and short, brisk walks through the icy streets that will have the tip of your nose form icicles, the outside elements just compel you to stay indoors and sit through foreign film fare in toasty theaters.

Inside the Martin Gropius Bau, the film market of the Berlinale.  Read more...

Why I Wuv The Princess Bride

BRIAN

Brian Watanabe wrote THE ROGUES GALLERY, which turned into the oddball cult film OPERATION: ENDGAME starring Rob Corddry, Maggie Q, and Zack Galifianakis. He’s developed scripts for production companies at Fox and Sony, is an award winning advertising copywriter, and doesn’t live in his mom’s basement, despite previously writing about Star Trek, Star Wars and film nerds.

Chick Flick.

That was my first thought when someone, long ago, insisted I watch THE PRINCESS BRIDE. I mean, really? For a prepubescent boy, there was nothing remotely interesting about that title. Princesses? Brides? Pass.

Inconceivable cast reunion interview & photos from Entertainment Weekly

And I wasn’t alone. Back in the day, when I was a summer fun group leader, they popped in THE PRINCESS BRIDE VHS during movie-time for our 5th & 6th graders. One of the more precocious girls walked up to me with that sassy, 6th grader attitude and asked, “What is this?” I guess she didn’t like the title either.  Read more...

‘Saturday Night Live’ and the Curious Absence of Jeremy Lin

  • February 13, 2012
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Just over a week ago, the New York Knicks finally allowed Chinese American Jeremy Lin a shot on the court and to say he took the opportunity and ran with it would be an understatement. Not only did Lin turn the fortunes of the Knicks around, but made one of the most impressive starts in NBA history (the 89 points he scored in his first three starts is the most of any player since the 1976-77 season so chew on that, Michael Jordan).

While Asian Americans are justly proud of Lin’s accomplishments, all of America is in the grips of LINsanity—Asian, white, black, purple, everyone. But you wouldn’t have known this if you were watching this past weekend’s episode of Saturday Night Live. There was nary a mention of Lin during all of the hour-and-a-half—not in any of the sketches, not a walk-on cameo, not even a measly joke during Weekend Update.

Well, you may be thinking—so what? Who says SNL is obligated to do anything about Lin anyway?  Read more...

Giant Hot Dog Eats Batman

  • February 12, 2012
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This is a video of a hot dog eating Batman:

Why is the hot dog eating Batman? I have no fucking idea, but maybe it has something to do with an earlier video of Batman eating a hot dog because as they say, “Revenge is a dish best served with mustard”:  Read more...

Be nice to Whitney Houston.. she’s dead.

  • February 11, 2012
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Girl was hot in her day!

I’m sitting in a hotel in San Antonio, TX. I’ve been flying for 6 hours (thanks Work for always getting me the worst flights so that you keep your costs down!) and I’m trying to unwind by eating my $14.00 airport Waldorf salad while watching some kind of episode of Teen Mom 2 on MTV. (I don’t own a television in real life, so when I get a chance to boob tube it, I find it quite foreign and exhilarating.) And what’s that scrolling across the bottom? Whitney Houston…R and B superstar… is found DEAD?!?!?!

You’ve got to be flippin’ kidding!

Why do I feel so sad?  Read more...

EDIBLE BYTES thinks Kettle PopCorners are like crack.

  • February 11, 2012
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The first time I encountered Kettle-flavored Pop Corners, I was in a gas station in Los Angeles, paying for a half-tank. On a shelf over by the counter sat a pyramidal pile of snacks, one with markings unfamiliar.

They were no Ruffles, no Doritos, no Cheetos I’d ever run into. They were, as the package announced, “popped corn chips.”

What they did not say was that I was not destined to be addicted to them.  Read more...

Around the Horn: special fantasy basketball JLin17 vs. Kobe edition

  • February 10, 2012
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I’ve been getting a lot of requests since the Bill Simmons article to share more about what we do in our fantasy league.  Besides intense daily player movements and watching Sal “the machine” chase after us like the Terminator, we usually do a lot of trashing talking on our message board. Today, however, we stopped hatin’ on each other to unify and stand against the one self proclaimed Black Mamba– Kobe Bryant. Sure he’s an easy target, but anyone who gives themselves a nickname should never go unscathed. Plus, is this how a superstar should act?  You judge for yourself. It all started with a little note from Lou in the morning.

LOU: Hello fantasy basketball family,
Thought I’d start off your mornings with this one. Haha

This clip confirms my love/hate relationship with Kobe. Haha  Read more...

Add Your Own Caption: Scary Chair-y Edition

If you’re not already following us on Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr, you’re missing out on a lot of extras you won’t find here on our blog including updates on various Offender-related projects (like the most recent updates about our upcoming YOMYOMF Network on YouTube) and silly, fun things like “Add Your Own Caption.” This is where we post an image we find online or that our readers forward to us and ask you to write an appropriate caption to accompany that image. And we’ll feature some of the captions here.

And the featured caption for this week comes from reader Ethan Walker:

Damn cats, always disemboweling the furniture.

So check out our Facebook page for future editions of “Add Your Own Caption”, write your own caption and/or “like” the ones you think are worthy and we may share them here.  Read more...

Don’t Whore Out Your Family: A Cautionary Tale

  • February 10, 2012
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One day the Fisher boys – Jacob, Dallin, Brayden, Carson, and Garrett – will look at this image and ask their parents a simple question:

“Why?”

The psychological fallout from this Romney photo-op at the Elko, Nevada, airport last week is bound to be enormous, as will be the recovery process.

Some of them will make it.  Some won’t.

For starters, these poor boys are well on their way to developing messiah complexes – why did God give mom five of us, just exactly enough to spell out the name Romney?   Because we are the Chosen Five, that’s why!   He has special plans for us.  We’re not like the other kids at school.  They’re jealous.  That’s why they point at our shirts and laugh.  Read more...

homeless & (pro)Creative

  • February 9, 2012
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To buy a home or not to buy a home?  That is the question.

Actually, it’s no longer a question – I need to buy a home.  Now.  Yesterday.  Last year.

I bought my first place in 2003.  A simple 1,144 sf, 2bed/2bath condo in West LA/Santa Monica.  It was a great value in a safe, urban, walk-to-everything location.  I was single back then, so 1,144 square feet was more than enough room to accommodate my bachelor life.  But today, I am no longer Fan Solo, but Fan Daddy-O, equipped with a wife and 2 fun baby girls.  What was once a spacious and relaxing urban retreat is now a converted playground that just happens to have a kitchen, bathroom, and sleeping facilities.  It’s time to move.  Now.  Yesterday.  Into something bigger (than my current Chinese-Korean, estrogen-heavy, Toy’s-R-Us sardine can that I call home).

Our new home will not be this big. Perhaps 3/50th of 50's 50,000 sf...

So what do we need?  Well…a house with more space, a backyard, in a safer neighborhood, and within a good public school district (kindergarten through high school).  That’s what what we need.

But what do we want?  Well, that’s a different story.  We want a 3,800+ sf, green home of tomorrow, a large, low-maintenance backyard with a small pool, in an exceptionally safe neighborhood, within close walking distance of grocery stores, banks, parks, etc., a close/convenient commute to work, and all within a GREAT public school district.  That’s what we want.  A tall order, I know…  Read more...

The Amazingly Manly Chinese Mashed Potato Burger

  • February 9, 2012
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I’ve already made the irrefutable argument that fast food in Asia is a gazillion times more awesome than the fast food here in the U.S. Here’s further proof of this—behold, McDonald’s Mashed Potato Burger (available only in China):

It’s a double patty burger with the usual fixings plus bacon and mashed potatoes. This is part of McDonald’s “Manly Man” campaign; geared toward China’s “young urban meat lovers.” Just looking at the picture of the burger, I can already feel a chest hair lots of chest hairs sprouting on my body.

Between this, the Japanese Burger King’s Windows 7 Whopper (count ‘em—seven friggin’ patties):

 Read more...

FLOUNDERING FILM FLUNKEE attends the Amazing Spider-Man sneak peek!

  • February 9, 2012
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The Spider-Man films are being rebooted this year and Marc Webb – director of the incredible (500) Days of Summer – is at the helm. With Raimi’s last note on the webslinger falling a bit flat, this promising new direction makes this film one I’m thoroughly anticipating.

On Monday, February 6, 2012, Sony Pictures held sneak previews for the upcoming Amazing Spider-Man movie all around the world, including Los Angeles. That’s where I found myself and my Partner-in-Crime at the beginning of this week.

And yes, we were once again dressed like Pikachus.  Read more...

Why Japan is Awesome #39: Hello Kitty Hooters

  • February 8, 2012
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When I think that the Japanese can’t get any more perverse inventive and awesome than they already are, they’ll do something that surprises even me. Who else would have thought to bring the magic of Hello Kitty and the magic of Hooters together in one bouncy package? Not since Reeses brought together chocolate and peanut butter has there been a more bizarre yet totally logical mash-up.

So this Valentine’s Day, if you are in Japan and one of the first 1,000 customers to show up at Hooters and order parfait, you will get a Hello Kitty Hooters pin.

 Read more...

The Foul-mouthed Professor

“What people intentionally don’t speak Mandarin? Assholes… According to my knowledge, a lot of Hong Kong people don’t identify themselves as Chinese. They say, ‘We’re Hong Kong, and you’re China.’ These people are assholes. These people are so used to acting as dogs in a British colony. You guys are still dogs, not human. I know a lot of Hong Kong people are good people but yet a lot of Hong Kong people up till now are still dogs,” said Kong Qingdong, the foulmouthed professor from the University of Beijing on national television.

 Read more...

thanks for nothing

  • February 7, 2012
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Been getting some well wishes from people since Monday.

The only problem is that I do not play for the New York Knickerbockers.

That’s Jeremy Lin.  Read more...

The 200 Million Dollar Tagger

On street artist David Choe’s website, he describes himself as “homeless, wandering the earth, making good art and bad music.”  He also says he “wants to retire early, illustrate the entire Bible and paint the entire Great Wall of China.”

Well, now he can do that.

When Facebook goes public, Choe stands to make 200 million dollars off some murals he did for the company back in 2005.  That’s when Sean Parker, Facebook’s founding president (y’know, the guy in “The Social Network” who told Zuckerberg to drop “the” from “thefacebook” and go with “facebook” because it was cooler?), commissioned the Korean American graffiti artist to paint the walls of Facebook’s first headquarters in Palo Alto.  Read more...

Jeremy Lin – Taiwanese Animation Flavah

  • February 7, 2012
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You know you’ve really made it big if the good folks at Taiwan-based Next Media Animation picks you as the subject of their trademark animated news segments. So by that standard, Knicks baller Jeremy Lin can consider himself in the big leagues. He showed the world on Saturday what he could do if given a chance and proved that wasn’t a fluke during last night’s game and now he’s the subject of this recent NMA video:

Wait…it wasn’t Jeremy Lin that kicked ass in last night’s game, but my fellow Offender Justin Lin? What?!!  Read more...

We Take Your Jobs

  • February 6, 2012
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A while back, we had some interesting blogs here and here about taking on roles that perpetuate stereotypes.  Normally, I would take the actor’s side on this—they’re just struggling for gigs in this town.

But I have to say that I’m going to eat my words now, because I am completely outraged that an attractive, young, Asian-American actress would sellout to being the face for a completely racist, anti-Asian campaign for politician Peter Hoekstra.

Here’s the ad that ran during the Super Bowl:

YouTube Preview Image

Whoever this actress is, in this day and age, has sold out big time.

Of course, the real culprit in all of this is Peter Hoekstra, who continues to refuse to apologize for this ridiculous ad.  Read more...

The YOMYOMF Network: Offender Anderson Gets Animated

  • February 6, 2012
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If you know my fellow Offender Anderson, whether through his blogs here on YOMYOMF and/or in real life, then I think you’ll agree that he’s a 100% original and there’s no one else quite like him. So it should come as no surprise that Anderson is serving as the inspiration for one of the projects we’re developing for our upcoming YOMYOMF Network on YouTube. And not only that, but he’s going to be animated:

The show is tentatively titled Anderson & The Ghost and while I don’t want to give too much away at this point, this animated series from the very twisted minds of brother and sister team Dan and Vivian Lee follows the adventures of a character named Anderson, who closely resembles our own Anderson, and his two roommates—a racist, foul-mouthed ghost named Goldy and a talking glass of piña colada named Piña who claims he “invented” Latin pop star Ricky Martin.

these are the preliminary sketches and subject to change  Read more...

Add Your Own Caption: What a Ride Edition

If you’re not already following us on Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr, you’re missing out on a lot of extras you won’t find here on our blog including updates on various Offender-related projects (like the most recent updates about our upcoming YOMYOMF Network on YouTube) and silly, fun things like “Add Your Own Caption.” This is where we post an image we find online or that our readers forward to us and ask you to write an appropriate caption to accompany that image. And we’ll feature some of the captions here.

And the featured caption for this week comes from reader Fiona Swarbrick (reader Tony Tam also submitted essentially the same caption but Fiona got there first so apologies):

Look Ma! No hands!

So check out our Facebook page for future editions of “Add Your Own Caption”, write your own caption and/or “like” the ones you think are worthy and we may share them here.  Read more...