Hump Day Special: Disposable Masturbation Toy

Once again it is hump day and our thoughts turn to love…or self-love as the case may be. And on days like this, how many times have we asked ourselves, “I wish I had a compact masturbation sleeve with lubrication that I can carry around in my pocket.”

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Well, Japanese sex toy manufacturer Tenga has you covered with its new “Pocket Tenga Wave Line.”

And it’s exactly as the description above promises. Use the sleeve to do the deed, put it back in the pouch and dispose of it in a sanitary way:

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It Was To Be A Wonderful Afternoon

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Instead, I walked out after 45 minutes.

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I was primed to love it.  This was to be an afternoon of nostalgia and intellectual stimulation.  I had seen the ad in our local free weekly: a lecture was being given by distinguished professor Aihwa Ong, entitled “Where the Wild Genes Are.”

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Can We All Just Acknowledge the Existence of Comfort Women and Be Done with This Bullshit

And so it continues…

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Last year, I blogged about the new Comfort Women statue in Glendale, California and the ensuing “controversy” (read about it here). For those unfamiliar with this issue, comfort women were young girls from countries like Korea and the Philippines who were forcibly conscripted by the Japanese Imperial Army during WWII to be sex slaves (about 200,000-400,000 women depending on the account). There are some who have protested the statue claiming that comfort women did not technically exist—and if they did that they were no more than prostitutes acting of their own free will. This includes folks who left comments on my original blog like this:

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Around the Horn: Baseball Edition

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Batter up. It’s baseball season. I’m a really big baseball fan. Really. I love to keep score, and have many filled books of games from years past. My team is the Boston Red Sox. It’s a team I inherited from my Dad, a real fan who never left them when he could have. When I was younger, we’d travel around the US going to baseball games. I’ve been lucky enough to go to 11 different major league ballparks; my parents have been to every single one (the old ones that are now gone, and even the new ones). I have great memories of Fenway Park, fried dough, the Citgo sign, the kid at the chowder stand, the Green Monster, Pedro, Papi, Manny… I was lucky enough to go to 16 games during the 2004 Championship Season with my friends Hua and Joey. And of course, we went to the parade. The thing is… I didn’t even live in Boston. At the time, I lived in New York. Winning the championship in 2004 was one of the best memories of my life.

Do you have any baseball stories, memories, favorite teams, favorite players? Do you even like baseball?

Happy Black Day!

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Once again, April 14 aka Black Day is upon us. For those not in the know, Black Day is an unofficial Korean holiday when single people eat jajangmyeon (black paste) noodles to either “celebrate” one’s singleness/unattached status or ease the pain of one’s singleness/unattached status.

In an effort to put more positivity out into the world, I will choose to interpret the holiday as one of “celebration” and not so much this:

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In fact, take a look at this delicious-looking bowl of jajangmyeon:

SAF Seeking… A Sex Drive

Even this skeleton is more frisky than me.

Even this skeleton is more frisky than me.

“I think I’m numb from the waist down.”

I confide this to fellow SAF Seeking blogger Annika as I sit in a parking lot on my lunch break. She had just given me a quick sample of what she had written for the weekend and I was squealing with delight. Oh the embarrassment! The adventure! Giggles galore!

But after thinking about it, I felt sad. I don’t know where it went, but I have absolutely no sex drive. Since my fiancé’s passing a year ago, I’ve looked at pretty men but have had no tingle in the panties. You know that feeling? It seriously is a tingle, a momentary moistening, a signal that you might actually have to grind yourself against something to make it stop.

India’s Having a Poo Party

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“First thing in the morning, what do I see, a pile of shit staring at me.”

The UN has found a creative way to address India’s “poo” problem. According to the latest stats, 620 million Indians defecate in public every day—that’s half the population shitting out 65 million kilos daily. So what to do to address this?

Make an animated music video featuring piles of shit performing Bollywood-syle dances, of course. This is India after all:

SAF Seeking… An awkward moment

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Annika is a 28 year old Cambodian Vietnamese Chinese French American who recently returned to school to finish a bachelor’s degree in computer science and linguistics. Her hobbies and interests include swimming, cooking, baking, writing, reading, math, symbolic logic, learning foreign languages, and drinking espresso – and of course, boys.

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“Well. This is awkward.”

A phrase I have uttered many a time in my life, but in this particular instance, it was very awkward. There I am sitting completely naked, thumb in my mouth, and listening to two people escalate into a shouting match.

It was a Saturday night. Just a few hours before that, I suggested to my girl friend “Sky,” that we should take advantage of our night and go out for a drink at my favorite pub in Santa Monica. It is my favorite because the people are hot, nice, and the bartenders take care of me with free drinks every time I am there.

Yes, Stephen Colbert is Replacing David Letterman but Stop with the #CancelColbert Quips

NAMEThe announcement came this morning that The Colbert Report host has been named as the replacement for David Letterman when he retires from The Late Show next year. And already, I’ve been seeing dozens hundreds thousands millions of posts on social media like this:

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And this:

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And this:

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Japan’s Penis Festival is Back

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Every spring in the Japanese city of Kawasaki, folks gather from all around to celebrate Kanamara Matsuri aka “The Festival of the Steel Phallus” aka the Penis Festival (read my previous post on this event here).

This year’s event took place this past April 6 and the good folks at the Huffington Post shared some pics from the festivities, which you can check out below.

So enjoy this public ode to all things “penal” on this very happy Hump Day!

Heterosexual Women: Here’s What You Should Do if You Encounter a Lesbian (1988 style)

If you’re a straight woman and you don’t know the correct protocol regarding how you should behave when first encountering a lesbian, New York magazine’s Jody Rosen has dug up this list from a women’s studies class circa 1988 to guide you:

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Clearly it provides many practical and helpful bits of advice including:

Do not run from the room. This is rude.

And

Do not assume she hates men. On the other hand, recognize that she may not want to attend an event where there will be men.

But I particularly like the experiment this professor suggests her students perform:

Pretend to be a lesbian for 24 hours. What kind of things do you notice about how different this feels?